The process: We all ranked our top ten (and bottom three) guys, I made a composite list, and we all made comments. Previous month's ranking in parentheses (NR = "not ranked"). NOTE: Only guys appearing in new episodes (airing on LOGO) in the past month were considered.
Previously: February, March
1 Girl, 5 Gays April Power Rankings
1. Juan (previously NR)You guys, how great was it to have Juan back this month -- both in AND out of drag? He pulls off this kind of couture queen affectation in a way that lets us know he thinks its ridiculous too, and then he'll veer into appreciating some really low-culture celebrity or something. It's so grossly Millenial to give someone props for being "real," but Juan is. Plus his outrage over being deemed a pina colada was really funny.
"I almost feel like there should be a 'boyfriend material' award. He'd win for me. So funny and thoughtful." -- Jeff
"Juan won drag night for me with his 'Am I super-conservative in thinking that you need to work to see my dick?' and his mortified gasp when Aliya-Jasmine said she didn't know who Tim Gunn is." -- John
2. Jonathan N. (9)Big month for Jonathan Nathaniel. Not only was he the standout panelist for two shows in a row, but he also has kind of taken over for Dean as the panelist most talked about in awed and appreciative terms when not on the show. Considering where Dean placed on our list this month (uh...keep looking), we're in agreement with that tendency.
"Jonathan N. was funny! It made me so happy, especially the part about him blacking out to Britney and waking up having broken his hamper. More stories like that, please." -- John
"I love it that this beautiful man is comfortable positioning himself as this perpetual bridesmaid sort. The one-night-stand story? Frankly, that could change lives. If this gorgeous guy is comfortable saying that he gets attached to boys who sleep over on the fly, who's to say that more Canadian gay marriages won't be happening? Maybe that's not actually great, but I'm still loving it. Demystify the allure of the love of strangers- that's what Jonathan did." -- Jeff
"Jonathan N. killed me with his vibrator story. (And that question also prompted A-J to share something about herself! It was so funny, the way she wouldn't look at the camera while she made her remark about a good right hand.)" -- LTG
3. JP (2)Kind of a hide-and-seek week for JP, not showing up until he returned in drag, rocking some space-grandma realness. Still, it's really hard to suppress his inherent intelligence and decency. Even if Jonathan N. put him on blast for still having Grindr.
"JP continued to fuel my crush when he said he doesn't like hurting people's feelings -- I found that moment adorable. I don't know if he'd handle a comedy roast quite as well as he thinks, but he does seem fairly Zen about a lot of things." -- John
4. Jonathan S. (3)Jonathan S. still has my favorite sense of humor of everybody on the show, and he can be very quick with his wit, but his appearance this month did begin to betray just the slightest hint of pre-fabricated shtick. You're better than that, JS!
"Jon S. had the best lines -- 'First World Problem!' and the story about wearing the witch fingernails had me on the floor." -- John
5. Yerxa (1)Yes, Yerxa dropped from his two-month perch at number one. We'd like to say it's not entirely because his drag resembled something out of Wynonna Judd's Labyrinth, but ... that's the only explanation we got.
"There was a moment [in the drag ep] where it felt like Dean was being really mean to Yerxa -- basically saying that the moment when Yerxa felt most sexually confident was the time he came on to Dean. That felt like a really mean slam, which made me wonder about the dynamic of their relationship. I like to think of Yerxa is the stable one and Dean as the slightly flighty one -- I don't want to learn that Yerxa has been pining after Dean for years. That would just shake my whole world view." -- LTG
"I wouldn't be totally surprised to hear that Yerxa spent a while pining for Dean, but he seems pretty happy with his boyfriend now." -- Jeff
"In this Yerxa-Dean narrative that we're probably mostly making up, I feel like maybe Yerxa used to have a crush on Dean, and now they joke about it, but Dean secretly views him as The One That Got Away. It would explain why Dean's so bitter about everything! I also liked the part where Yerxa admitted he would have hate sex -- it validates my theory that he would make Matt Barker cry in bed, and not about emotions." -- John
6. David (4)Of anybody on the show, David has the widest range of opinion, being that I can either be 100% onboard with what he's saying or 100% against it, and pretty much anywhere on the spectrum in between. I like that unpredictability, but it does lead to moments, like his hair-trigger responses to Gaelen, where I kind of want to flick him between the eyes. That said? LOVED the dark-lady Angelina drag.
"David was the only one who seemed to take the drag at all seriously, with his dark emo look. (Although do emo girls wear scary finger claw things?)" -- LTG
"I know David LOATHES Andrew (as he should), but he was still completely correct that being mean for 'honesty's' sake is still just being mean, and I was very glad the more levelheaded Juan backed him up." -- John
"David seems like he is probably the best friend to have around- always kind and upbeat and ready for a good time but also able to engage on a real level." -- Jeff
7. Alex (NR)I believe this was Alex's debut week (if he's been on the show before, I haven't seen him), and I like that he represents something fairly different from all the other guys. Like the funny, hipster, genial gay. Like if Dean took himself waaaaaaaay less seriously.
"That story about having the runs over at his date's house was horrifyingly relatable, plus 'guy-arrhea' was hilarious." -- John
"Alex is a star. I love him. He is exactly the kind of guy that I would have wanted to know existed when I was coming of age. A super queer, engaged, smart and sexy guy. I love him. Seriously." -- Jeff
8. Thomas (7)I know Thomas technically dropped in the rankings this week, but he really shot up the charts of my own estimation. That story about the guy who wanted to rail him for a 6-pack of beer was so bizarre but also made me imagine Thomas as the star of his own dark-sexy-night-of-the-gay-soul Gregg Araki movie. Plus, I have to say? He was working that six-o'clock shadow.
"Thomas was adorable, though I'm not even sure if ultimately I understand that story about the guy saying he'd rail him. Was the price of a six pack of beer supposed to symbolize his desire or lack of desire?" -- Jeff
"I'm with you, Joe. I think in addition to the stubble, he did something minor to his hair that had a major effect. He had some great deadpan moments, too." -- John
9. Ian (NR)Ian doesn't really stand out for anything he particularly said or did this month. He's just a guy we generally like well enough, and he didn't say or do anything too annoying like the guys who missed the Top 10 entirely.
"I thought Ian was funny -- the bits about the morning being Hammer Time and hanging up on his friend to watch Jersey Shore got me laughing. I don't know if we're going to get any rocket science from him, but at least he only tangentially talked about his junk, which I understand is an improvement." -- John
"Ian was awesome. I'd been kind of over him because of the incessant penis stuff, but he really turned it around for me. First, I think maybe his religious nature gives him a lovely empathetic and kind nature that I hadn't noticed. Also, he kind of bags on himself with the 'two pump chump' thing, which is disarming. Also, his face his just the cutest. He's like Tom Cruise in Far and Away." -- Jeff
10. Matt Barker (NR)I'm as shocked as you are. But the flecks of self-awareness are showing on young Matt, bit by bit.
"Matt was more tolerable than last time, and I have to wonder what the other guys are on that they think the Kardashians are good role models. But once again, the Grindr story and the part where he claimed not to know who Anderson Cooper is sounded like such lies that I expected his pants to catch on fire." -- John
"Matt Barker was trying really hard and I appreciate that. I think, maybe, he's this super young guy who wants to talk about his feelings a lot, but they're kind of half-formed; so he ends up sounding like an ass a lot of the time. I appreciate that he stuck up for his idea of being in a relationship and the loyalty implied. That said, I love that, after all of his slamming of Juan as a bottom, he was unanimously declared the bottom in a Yerxa/Matt Barker hook-up." -- Jeff
Also receiving votes: Gaelen, Dean, Santos
Dropping out: Philip (5), Dean (6), Santos (8), Jake (10)
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6 comments:
This month's power rankings are right on in my estimation, although I probably would've switched Alex's rank number for Johnathan S.'s.
Anyway, I also agree with the plummet of Dean in the rankings. I'm curious to hear the specifics of why he dropped in your estimation. For me, his pompous vanity just overshadowed everything. And every opinion he shared had my eyes rolling. I'm really worried that I've been wrong about Dean this whole time.
I must be crazy but I dont see the list of the worst.
No Worst this time around. With a top ten and only 14 Gays to choose from this month, "Worst" seemed a bit of a default choice.
love the power rankings and hope you keep posting them with a little more frequency then your Fringe post.
Okay, that's a pretty good burn, Patrice.
It sounds crazy but, at this point, I can tolerate Andrew more than I can tolerate Dean. Andrew seems to be a terrible judge of when his joking is crossing a line and he can be kind of a jerk. Dean, on the other hand, just dismisses everything about everyone and doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humor.
I can't wait until the May installment of this. I have much to discuss.
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