Monday, December 06, 2010

Free Jackson!

For reasons entirely work-related, I ended up watching the second and third Twilight movies over the weekend. I'd seen and scoffed my way through the first one with friends a couple years ago and never had a particular desire to continue the series, but I also never had any particular aversion to it either.

I don't really have a ton to say about the movies. New Moon is spectacularly boring, making the comparatively action-packed Eclipse go down much better. But I guess my major takeaway is -- shocker -- a shallow one: how the fuck is an entire generation losing their shit over Robert Pattinson when Jackson Rathbone is right there?


Jackson plays Jasper, the dubiously-accented Confederate-soldier-turned-vampire combat expert with a weakness for paper cuts. But more importantly, he is a teenage dream that I would have killed to ogle (on the sly) as a teen. And yet today's kids are limiting themselves to R.Pattz? Dubious.

It really bothered me that in the 2+ years since Twilight, Jackson hasn't appeared to have gotten the commensurate career bump. In other words, why did it take until NOW for me to hear about him? Comparatively, I've seen 10,000 photos of Kellan Lutz in that same time period. (Important to note: Not complaining.) Anyway, Roommate Jenn pointed out to me that this was how Jackson presented in the first Twilight movie:


Mystery solved! Lord, the untold number of victims that the Twilight wig department has left in its wake. No wonder he didn't make an impression on me (or anyone) in the first one. But they seem to have his shit mostly under control now. And honestly, there's only so many ways you can keep that face under a powdery bushel:



[Caveat: A Google image search of Jackson reveals oodles of unfortunate sexy-faced posing and enough hipstery hats to choke Jack White. This isn't a dealbreaker. It just means he's a project.]

I actually think he remembers another underrated crush o' mine, Aaron Johnson:


I think it's the lips. Which has me hoping the both of them will get cast in a movie about rival con artists who use their lips to mesmerize their female (and male) marks. Their shared mentor will, obviously, be this one here:


Make it happen, Hollywood.

That's all. That's all I have to say. It's seriously that shallow of a post. I can't defend it.
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6 comments:

Dan Mac said...

Rathbone's also in The Last Airbender, which if you haven't seen it, is exactly as bad as you've been lead to believe. I'm not going to fault him for the performance he gives, as Shyamalan has a proven track record of coaxing cringe-worthy performances out of his actors, but I imagine his association with that historic bomb presents something of a career setback. Combine with Twilight, which also features shall we say, less than nuanced acting, and I think the question isn't why he hasn't "gotten the commensurate career bump" and rather, "will he be working in 5 years?"

Anonymous said...

It's definitely the lips. Aaron Johnson has the most beautiful lips in the entire world. I even managed to watch Chatroom, the entire piece of shit, just by focusing on his pout.

cici said...

uh, disagree Dan Mac. From The Sixth Sense to The Village, the acting in Shyamalan movies were pretty good. C'mon, the post is not about acting. Twilight kids can't act, period, with the exception of Anna Kendrick.

Anonymous said...

When I first saw "Twilight" a year ago - I did remebered Jasper - and since he have almost no lines - I kept wondering how fugly a vampire can be.
He looked like he was electrocuted and never recovered :-D
so I didn't even bothered to look who played him.

But After I saw "Eclipse" - I Changed my mind - I think he stole every scene he was in.

But I'm not sure it is only the lips - I pretty sure it has alot to do with the eyes.
And much much better wig.

eliza said...

I did not know who he was beforehand, but a friend of mine loves him, so I went with her to a concert of Jackson's band, 100 Monkeys, this weekend ... some kind of charity event for a local school. (He's in town filming the next Twilight movie, and his band is here working on their album ... they have been performing weekly here in town and apparently causing quite the frenzy.) It was sold out at a nice, small theater, and there were many, many hysterical tweens there, one of whom reacted not unlike the crying Sanjaya girl. There were also many grown women who knew every word to every song, including one barefoot lady wearing a corset. (True.) The band's music was better than I expected -- apparently they are all musical prodigies or something -- and Jackson Rathbone absolutely had star quality, as stupid as that sounds. I am on board. Call me, Jackson!

(Here he is backstage meeting our mayor, which is pretty much hilarious & awesome. He is dreamy, for real.)

jessica said...

Fear not, Joe. Team Jasper has its fair share of members. And everyone with any self-respect who has read the books (I promise, this is not an oxymoron), knows Jasper and Alice are the real power couple of the series. None of that insufferable moping, just a solid, healthy, romantic and loving relationship for us all to covet.