I don't really have a ton to say about the movies. New Moon is spectacularly boring, making the comparatively action-packed Eclipse go down much better. But I guess my major takeaway is -- shocker -- a shallow one: how the fuck is an entire generation losing their shit over Robert Pattinson when Jackson Rathbone is right there?
Jackson plays Jasper, the dubiously-accented Confederate-soldier-turned-vampire combat expert with a weakness for paper cuts. But more importantly, he is a teenage dream that I would have killed to ogle (on the sly) as a teen. And yet today's kids are limiting themselves to R.Pattz? Dubious.
It really bothered me that in the 2+ years since Twilight, Jackson hasn't appeared to have gotten the commensurate career bump. In other words, why did it take until NOW for me to hear about him? Comparatively, I've seen 10,000 photos of Kellan Lutz in that same time period. (Important to note: Not complaining.) Anyway, Roommate Jenn pointed out to me that this was how Jackson presented in the first Twilight movie:
Mystery solved! Lord, the untold number of victims that the Twilight wig department has left in its wake. No wonder he didn't make an impression on me (or anyone) in the first one. But they seem to have his shit mostly under control now. And honestly, there's only so many ways you can keep that face under a powdery bushel:
[Caveat: A Google image search of Jackson reveals oodles of unfortunate sexy-faced posing and enough hipstery hats to choke Jack White. This isn't a dealbreaker. It just means he's a project.]
I actually think he remembers another underrated crush o' mine, Aaron Johnson:
I think it's the lips. Which has me hoping the both of them will get cast in a movie about rival con artists who use their lips to mesmerize their female (and male) marks. Their shared mentor will, obviously, be this one here:
Make it happen, Hollywood.
That's all. That's all I have to say. It's seriously that shallow of a post. I can't defend it.