Thursday, September 02, 2010

Trailer Trash Week: Unstoppable

Note: I'm kind of stealing this idea from Roommate Mark, except in my defense, A) I was planning on doing one giant Trailer Trash post and it got too long, and B) um...I don't have a second defense. Basically, we're in the middle of a glut of fall movie trailers, and what am I here for if not to pontificate about them? Not all of these trailers are brand-new, but I came across them while looking up the slate of fall movies.

Oh SHIT, you guys! This is exactly what this summer movie season was missing: a literal runaway train smashing through shit without remorse! A brash young hottie who plays by his own rules! Denzel Washington getting too old for this shit! It's no secret that I hate Tony Scott, but this movie might just be simple enough that even he can't fuck it up. Train. Smash. Bang. Profit.

The trailer itself is encouraging in all sorts of ways, and not only because it begins with a gratuitous shot of Chris Pine without a shirt on. Again, it's the simplicity, stupid. There's very little beating around the bush. Do we even know why there's a runaway train without brakes and full of hazardous chemicals barreling down upon another train full of cute little school children? Does it matter? It really does not. The trailer makers were certainly assisted by a script that took the time to include lines like, "That's not a train, it's a missile the size of the Chrysler building," and "We're gonna run this bitch down!" Screenwriter Mark "Live Free or Die Hard" Bomback, I could kiss you.

NOTE #1: Is it strange to anyone else that this is being sold as "from the director of Man on Fire"? I guess that's pretty sad that that's still the go-to Tony Scott film credit.

NOTE #2, to Roommate Mark: much as I would like to be able to count this movie towards our Rosario Dawson wager, I have to admit that she is clearly the third lead and not named in the trailer, thus precluding this from being a Rosario Dawson movie, no matter how many walkie-talkies she screams into. Alas.

1 comment:

Dan Mac said...

Somehow this is successful even though it's among the dumbest trailers I've ever seen. For all the points you mention certainly, but it also has a certain old school je ne sais quoi, like it reminds me of Poseidon Adventure or... The Towering Inferno; 70s disaster/event flicks. This just leans into its dumbness, clearly aware of it (hence the presence of Ethan Suplee mouth breathing) and it's lineage, but also not trivializing itself by being in on the joke (in other words: not Piranha 3D.