Friday, February 19, 2010

The Bronze That Wasn't

Sadly, that above pic of Johnny Weir with a bronze medal was from the U.S. Nationals and not from last night's conclusion to the men's long program. Studly heterosexual Evan Lysacek took the gold, America's first in men's figure skating since the legitimately awesome Brian Boitano did it in the '88 games ... which were also held in Western Canada. Coincidence? Or Illuminati??

Our man Weirsie finished an unacceptable sixth after skating a gorgeous -- and, even more notably, clean -- long program that even had Scott "Hater" Hamilton gushing praise. Why the low scores? Unfortunately, figure skating's scoring system comes complete with a 1040EZ form you have to fill out in triplicate before they tell you what's what. Would that these were the old days of perfect-6 scores and crooked Soviet judges. (Though, duh, a Soviet judge would have probably nudged Johnny's scores way higher.)

Anyway, I'm so thrilled so many of you liked the liveblog Anna Beth and I did for the short program. My superterrific sister was in town last night, so I wasn't able to fire up the blog again for the long program. AB and I did have a short conversation afterwards, but that was mostly just us saying "AMAZEBALLS" about Johnny's performance and talking like Galina ("I bring you pomegranate juicer!" "I keep missile codes hidden in haircut!").

Anyway, feel free to comment on the skaters in this post. And come on back in 2014, when I will be completely in the tank for that Brazilian-French kid who skated the marionette routine. Love!

P.S. Elvis Stojko is a jackass. Almost makes me like Evan.


Melanie said...

The Brazilian-French kid (Florent) is my new fave, for sure! I felt bad for Johnny, but I was psyched that that arrogant, sore loser, jerk-face Plushenko lost to Evan.

momo said...

I almost ALMOST don't care about the medal because I think Johnny skated his best--and won the crowd, the usually snarky TV commenters, and displayed all the qualities that make me love him fiercely: athleticism, fully centered movement from core to fingertips (something that neither Even nor Plushy showed), emotional commitment, and integrity. It was a complete performance, and I hope he is proud of it.
There were many other great moments of skating from other competitors, but his was the best combination of maturity, confidence, artistry and skill. No falls, no flailing arms, connection with the crowd, and a hug from Gallina.

Deirdre said...

What is so hard to understand about the fact that figure skating is not just glide, glide, glide, jump, ELVIS?? It's that attitude that made him a boring skater when he was competing. He doesn't actually know what artistic merit means.

Yeah, the skaters should be pushing themselves, and I certainly wouldn't want to watch a guy who did nothing but doubles all night, but for me, frankly, it's a lot more entertaining to watch a clean skate than to see someone "take risks" and wind up on his ass two jumps out of every four.

I'm bummed I missed Weir's long program; I'm hoping I can find it online somewhere.

Jenn said...

Whether people like Johnny or not, I think almost everyone can agree that he has passion for the sport. And the guy backs up his talk. He had the skate of his life last night. I was so ticked he didn't medal.

I'm not a huge Evan fan - he needs to let us know that he's enjoying what he does - but he earned that gold. I loved his program. It didn't feel like there were any wasted movements or filler, like some skaters have in their programs.

Kim said...

I've linked your short-program recap all over town, because that shit was epic! I shall now cling to the mental picture of Johnny with his crown of roses and weep my bitter tears.

But before I do, yay for talking like Galina. At our house, we were talking like Plushy. "Now is part vhere I mince about! Now you must giving me medals....You hef dishonor me, and now I vill burn down styeeadium. I take hostage your wolunteer!"

Bea said...

I wanted the top 3 to be: Lysacek, Plushenko and Weir, in any permutation. Alas. Although, Takahashi gleeing all over the medal ceremony was pretty fucking adorable. I was happy for him.

I thought Lysacek, though he insists in dressing like a Disney villain for competition, skated a gorgeous routine. I was really pulling for Plushenko. For some reason, I find him so hot. I KNOW. I KNOW. I can't HELP it. The fits he's been throwing all day only endear him to me more. I don't even know.

Poor Johnny Weir was really robbed. His score was so low! I was sad for him, I felt like he deserved better. Though I loved when he was wearing the wreath on his head!

Marshall1 said...

I think Elvis doesn't think when he speaks....but he does have a point though, not a complete one. I think we should always push ourselves, and in this case, the Q (quad). But like Plushenko, he didn't back it up artistically in his program. Let's face it, it was a mediocre program. Ideal skater would be Plushenko+either Chan or Weir. The reason Evan won is because he is consistent, not great. Steady wins the race.

Shut out to Oda though, what a cutie, think I'm in love, and so talented as well :)
Too bad he hasn't got a facebook page or website so I couldn't stalk

BubaHoTep said...

I'm amazed that everyone just assumes Evan Lysacek is straight, just because he says he is. Really?

JAM said...

I feel vaguely creepy about it, but I'd like to keep Florent Amodio in a snow globe on my desk.

celendra said...

OMG, have you seen the complete delusional fucktarddery that is THIS?;_ylt=AglrHEZUltVXSkxP9lCHvM5otLV_?urn=oly,221408

Yes, that's right - he even designed himself the fake medal!