Thursday, December 10, 2009

A Short, Loud Conversation About the So You Think You Can Dance Results

[SPOILERS, doy]

This is minutes after watching Mollee and Legacy get eliminated instead of Ashleigh (who didn't dance) and Ryan (who cried and begged us to vote for Ashleigh, who didn't dance).

AB CHAO: NO FAIR
Joe:SO MAD
AB CHAO: I am so mad i want to pull a TWoP poster and promise to never watch again. SO MAD!
Joe:LET'S STAY IN CAPS
AB CHAO: Fucking Ashleigh. WITH HER STUPID NAME. And her STUPID SMUG FACE. AND HER STUPID CRYING HUSBAND.
Joe: YES. Seriously, though, my recap is so full of anger and bile.
AB CHAO: I am glad. Good. More anger! More bile!
Joe:FUCK THEM BOTH
AB CHAO: Fuck them BOTH. Twice. BACKWARDS.
Joe:I was already pissed that either Mollee or Ellenore was going.
AB CHAO: BECAUSE OF ASHLEIGH. It makes me want TO RIP MY BEAVER OFF.
Joe:I'm sorry, Mollee was excellent last night.
AB CHAO: DO YOU HEAR ME?
Joe: And Mollee, oh, ACTUALLY DANCED.
AB CHAO: Mollee was SO good last night. Poor baby. She was so upset. Fuck Ashleigh! I can't even type it. I'm like Charly. Fuckkkk asshellee...
Joe: Also, you KNOW Adam was shocked by that and held back saying something about it.
AB CHAO: Did you see his face? He was pissed.
Joe:SHE DIDN'T GODDAMN DANCE, AMERICA

AB CHAO: Oh my god. I am so angry. And my sweet Legacy. Doing it for the kids who don't love themselves.
Joe:I know! Legaceeeeeeeee!
AB CHAO: LEGACYYYYYYYY! Do you think he wants to be my friend?
Joe: Even if he doesn't know it yet, he does.
AB CHAO: Because even though he is not in the finale, I need him to come over to my house and have coffee with me and teach me some of those head moves.
Joe: He can call you on his giant cell phone.
AB CHAO: OMG how cute was that?
AB CHAO: Also: I HATE ASHLEIGH.
Joe: I HATE RYAN AS WELL.
AB CHAO: Exactly. Shut up, Ryan, with your stupid tan and your fucking straight bangs.
Joe:YES
AB CHAO: Haaaaaaate.
Joe: What in the WORLD was that?
AB CHAO: He had bangs of smugness.
Joe: Kathryn danced rings around him, too.
AB CHAO: KILL

Joe: On the bright side? Fingers crossed for a Jakob/Kathryn pairing!
AB CHAO: Kathryn is so awesome; I hope she or Russell win the whole thing. I do love Jakob too.
Joe:Team Jakob, all the way.
AB CHAO: Team Jakob, whatever, you Twimom.
AB CHAO: But I am actively cheering AGAINST Ryan.
Joe: Yes. Maybe Ashleigh will have to drop out still. And Mollee can return at least.
AB CHAO: Maybe Ashleigh can jump up my ass.
Joe: Or Legacy in a blonde wig.
AB CHAO: Hee. Did you see how surprised Ellenore was?
Joe: YES
AB CHAO: Where she was like, "wait, me?" And Cat had to tell her?
Joe: I do like her.
AB CHAO: That was pretty awesome. I like her too. But you know who I like better? NOT ASHLEIGH.
Joe: You've seen Dazed and Confused, yes?
AB CHAO: I have.
Joe: Because all I want to say when I see her and Ryan all huggy-wuggy is "Wipe that face off your head, bitch!"
AB CHAO: Hahaaaa. I'd like to see both of them fry like bacon.
Joe: I was dying without anyone to be mad to.
AB CHAO: It took me forever to watch! We had company and then the electricity thing. AND 27 minutes of Glee is missing. THIS NIGHT SUCKS.
Joe: Weirdly, I guess the end of Glee blacked out here too. Sso I don't know what kind of 2012 electrical storm happened there.
AB CHAO: It must have been the combined power of our projected anger. We didn't even know how mad we were gonna be, but nature did.
Joe: F'real.
.
.
.

15 comments:

eliza said...

My sentiments exactly. I am so not okay with this!

Anonymous said...

I wasn't disappointed to see legacy go, he kind of bugged but was pissed about Molly! I loved her from the start, her audition was great!

Rbelle said...

Aaargh! I didn't have anybody to be mad to either. I tried being mad to my husband but since I'd come in 15 minutes before to jump up and down about Russel and Jakob and Kathryn being safe, I don't think the rage sunk in.

And to me, the biggest insult is that Ashleigh and Ryan were the weakest dancers remaining. In the recap you mentioned that even if it had been Jakob, it would have felt a little unfair, and I agree, except that Jakob was consistently amazing. Ashleigh and especially Ryan got by on the strength of their partners and the choreographers willingness to work around their shortcomings, while many of the other dancers, including Kathryn and Mollee, improved in styles not their own week after week. If Ashleigh had been paired with Nathan, they both would have been out in the first few weeks. If Mollee had been with Jakob, it wouldn't have taken people so long to warm up to her. I realize it's the nature of the show, but it's not just that Ashleigh and Ryan got through on sympathy votes. It's that of all the remaining dancers, they were the least deserving. And if she had danced, I think she might have gotten eliminated. I definitely think Ryan would have gone home if he hadn't made himself look so "good" with that little plea. Grrrrr.

sarahb said...

Do you know who I blame for this shit-sense? UTAH.

Kirk Hamilton said...

Haaaaaa yeah, Darla!

Lick Me! All of you!

I can't believe Legacy went home over Ryan; I had only just realized that he was kind of the most awesome contestant ever. Yeah, it was the cell phone.

But really, I just can't get past the fact that the finale is gonna be six instead of four. Such a big part of past finales has been about mixing up the pairings, and I can't imagine how they'll do it as effectively with an extra couple in there.

And that problem was compounded by Ashleigh's injury this week, since we were basically already watching the finale, ensemble size-wise, which felt weird, abrupt, anticlimactic.

Why, again, did they have to switch to the fall? And why did they have like two shitting months of auditions only to rush the hell out of the endgame? Aren't there professionals in charge of this kind of thing?

AndreAnna said...

I am now dead from awesome.

Stupid Ashleigh. Stupid Ryan. I hope they don't breed.

Vance said...

As sweet as Mollee seems, you could see for a momentary split second that her eyes looked at Ashleigh and said "bitch, you didn't even dance."

Patrick said...

I'm right with y'all with regards to Legacy's exit, but I just can't be bothered to get all that worked up about Mollee leaving. Yes, she was pretty great last night, and the waltz was truly a series highlight, but she was working off of weeks of mid to bottom level performances.

As far as Ashleigh goes, I was far more worked up about Noelle's free pass the first week. Ashleigh had a season's worth of solid work to vote for. A vote for Ashleigh was a vote for that effort, and frankly, nothing Mollee did the first five weeks was close to that not very high level.

But Ryan over Legacy? Fuck that shit.

jessica said...

I don't think Mollee deserved to go, but I like Ashleigh and I think she would've done well in those routines. I would've liked to see her, anyway.

Joe Reid said...

I think Ashleigh would've done well in Mollee's routines too, because they were with Jakob. I really started to wonder if Mollee would have had Ashleigh's success if she started with Jakob too.

Patrick, I hear you re: Noelle, but I think I'm on the flip side: at least with Noelle, there was the usual dead weight to get rid of. In Ashleigh's case, a girl who had put in seven weeks of hard work and (mostly) solid-to-great dancing got eliminated due to Ash getting a free pass. (That said, I thought Noelle should have been eliminated too.)

Anonymous said...

Me & my alter ego, Wordy McDittoson von Hell Yeah totally and completely agree!

Ashleigh & Ryan should have been gone several weeks ago (although I have to admit that Ryan did kill in the cha-cha with Kathryn on Tuesday).

Still, Noelle & Nathan were better than them.

Team Jakob forever!!!

momo said...

Finally! a vehemence that matched the blast in my living room. Legaceeeeee!

Patrick said...

This is where I point out that Ashleigh didn't get a free pass. A free pass would have been an automatic ticket to the finals. She still had to get the votes. Whereas Noelle just sat on her ass and sailed through.

Still, I'll fully admit my view is colored by my opinion that Mollee should've left two weeks ago, at least. She's like Lauren, for me. Nothing she did pre-top 10 justified her position there, even if she finally did do great work when she got there, I'd rather she had left during those weeks of mediocrity. But then, I know you liked Lauren.

Here's some common ground, I hope. Top six finale??? WTF, producers, WTF. You can't look at a calendar when you give us a full month and a half of auditions? Way to screw the show into the ground.

jessica said...

I meant I thought Ashleigh would've done well in her routines with Russell. Shane's stupid assistant didn't bring 1/10th the performance quality it required. I understand not wanting Ashleigh to go through when she didn't dance, but I like her, so whatever. I can't listen to that Whatcha Say song without thinking of her routine with Jakob. On the other hand, I didn't like Mollee until very recently. I'm actually surprised Ellenore got through, though, because the American public don't always like the weirdos.

But back to Patrick's point, WTF producers?!?! 6 people in the finale is BULLSHIT!

Rbelle said...

It actually bothers me less when the judges send someone through without seeing them dance than when America votes someone through on pity. The judges gave Pauline a "free pass" into the top 20 without ever seeing her final solo, and one week later they let Noelle stay on despite an injured knee - presumably because they (like me) wanted to actually see what she could do with Russel. And after that week, I don't think she went home any earlier or later than she should have, nor did Pauline. I guess I just trust the judges to evaluate prior work and make that decision. If I thought America was doing the same with its voting, I wouldn't be so mad, but I think without Ryan speaking up for her, she would have been in the bottom two, at least. And Ryan wouldn't have come anywhere near the finals, yeesh.

I also was an early fan of Mollee. I thought her first couple of routines with Nathan were great, but that his limitations dragged her down after a while, and I breathed a big sigh of relief when she made it into top 10 and drew Russel - they were great, and she was even better with Jakob. I didn't necessarily want her to win, but I think she deserved to go on.

But what makes me maddest is the finale I'm now denied - seeing Legacy and Russel possibly dance together, seeing three jazz/contemporary girls in a routine. Maybe I'm the only one, but I couldn't care less about seeing Ryan dance with Ashleigh, and any of her other choreographed numbers are limited by the fact that, if past performance is any indication, girl can't do a leap to save her life. Hmph. My rage, it festers!