Saturday, November 14, 2009

Smooth Joey Apollo's 2009 NFL Picks: Week 10

Last Week:
Aaron 8-5
Joe 7-6

Season to Date:
Joe: 85-44
Aaron 81-48


Chicago at San Francisco

Aaron: After last week's embarrassing home defeat to self-proclaimed future Hall of Famer Vince Young, I'm ready to subscribe to the theory that the 49ers can't beat anyone outside the NFC West. I don't suppose San Francsico plays the Raiders this year? Damn. Pick: Chicago

Joe: Watch your step as I attempt to drop some football knowledge, but it seems to me the Bears are suckiest against the pass, while the Niners' strength is in their running game. BUT this could also be one of those inexplicable Vernon Davis 3 TD games. I say it's ugly and unwatchable (which: lucky for us Time Warner folks, then) either way. Pick: San Francisco

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh

Aaron: This is one of those games in which I'd pick the opposite of Joe just for the sake of picking the opposite of Joe. I could see either team winning by two points or two TDs. And, iiiiiit's..."tails". Pick: Cincinnati

Joe: I'd be happy to oblige you here, Cam, given my mental block on the Bengals going 4-0 against the other teams in their division. (No, I don't consider the Browns an NFL team.) Pick: Pittsburgh

Atlanta at Carolina

Aaron: It's been a few years since I received my degree in marketing from The San Diego State University, but I'm pretty sure it helps to have a discernable chin if you're going to do shirtless Gillette ads, Matt Ryan. Pick: Atlanta

Joe: Stopping. Googling. Checking. ...Yeah, that's doing nothing for me. Certainly not like that Tony Gonzalez as for PETA. Damn it, PETA! If only you didn't get so many celebrities naked, I'd be able to hate you more purely. Pick: Atlanta

Tampa Bay at Miami

Aaron: This week's SI details how the 2009 Bucs are headed in the right direction. They're on their third QB in as many months and fired their offensive coordinator before the season began. This isn't "direction". It's that leg-twitchy thing that happens to dead bodies in the movies. Pick: Miami

Joe: I'm still trying to get over the return of the tangerine uniforms last week. Sure, the color is fug, but I do kind of have a soft sport for that foppish Captain Morgan they had on their helmets. Pick: Miami

New Orleans at St. Louis

Aaron: We're ten weeks into the season. NO ONE is going to call Drew Brees on that Hulk Hogan haircut he's been rockin' all year? His receding-shag is the most underreported story of the year, people. Pick: New Orleans

Joe: I'm still fuming from the Rams defying my winless prediction for them from Week 1. Light 'em up, Saints. Light 'em up. Pick: New Orleans

Jacksonville at N.Y. Jets

Aaron: A long time ago, I remember reading that the Buccaneers had lost something like 300 games in a row when the temperature at kickoff was below some...specific temperature. I assume that applies to all Florida teams on the road. Still. Pick: NY Jets

Joe: This is nothing but pure hunch, but I'm feeling like this might be time for the Jags' monthly 30-point loss. Pick: NY Jets

Buffalo at Tennessee

Aaron: It hurts my heart to see Titan fans fall back in love with Vince Young. He's Chris Brown with a Wonderlic score of six, Tennessee. He will hurt you again. Pick: Tennessee

Joe: Part of me wants to be contrarian here. And the Bills DO seem determined to deep-six their chances at a Top 10 draft pick. It's not out of the question that Vince Young could throw two INTs for touchdowns. Why not pick the Bills? Oh, right, because Chris Johnson is gonna run for 250 yards. Pick: Tennessee

Denver at Washington

Aaron: I'm enjoying the media-fueled notion that the league's "figured out" the Broncos. The Redskins chances here have increased from "none" to...what, exactly? Pick: Denver

Joe: Man, I was so close to picking the Redskins in one of those sense-defying upsets that tend to happen. Thanks for talking some sense into me, Cam. Pick: Denver

Detroit at Minnesota

Aaron: So did that whole "set the clocks back" thing push back Brett Favre's annual season-ending six-week self-immolation or are we all in agreement that it's just not happening this year? Pick: Minnesota

Joe: Remember, Favre didn't kill the Packers in his last season with them until the NFC champtionship game. Keep hope alive! Pick: Minnesota

Kansas City at Oakland

Aaron: In their Week #2 match-up, the Chiefs outgained the Raiders in total yards (409 to 166), while JaMarcus Russell completed less than 30% of his passes. And, the Raiders won! Ugh. Pick: Kansas City

Joe: I'd pledged to pick the oppsoite of you in this game no matter what. I'm sticking by that. while holding my nose. Pick: Oakland

Dallas at Green Bay

Aaron: Sure looks like Tony Romo has raised expectations again. Couple of good games, Cowboy fans have stopped calling for his head. I've seen this pattern before. Now, wet the bed, Romo. Wet it! Pick: Green Bay

Joe: Dallas's defense continues to look uncharacteristically strong. Green Bay's offensive line might as well be riding lawn mowers in Mississippi. This could get broken-bone-y for Aaron Rodgers. Pick: Dallas

Philadelphia at San Diego

Aaron: No team can turn a gift-wrapped, unimpressive win like last week's vs. the Giants into a season-turning burst of momentum like the Chargers. In January, you'll all be wondering why you believed in this team. Pick: San Diego

Joe: The two most "never as dead as you think they are" teams. Also the two most "never as dominant as you think they'll be" teams. Last time the Eagles came out west, they lost to Oakland. OAKLAND! Pick: San Diego

Seattle at Arizona

Aaron: Earlier this week, I stumbled across ESPN showing highlights of former Seahawk Shaun Alexander running roughshod over the league earlier this decade. Few things have made me feel older. It felt like 40 years ago. Pick: Arizona

Joe: How 'bout remembering that Alexander was drafted the same year Arizona drafted Thomas Jones. That stint almost seemed like it never happened. Pick: Arizona

New England at Indianapolis

Aaron: I don't know how much impact a head coach has in the NFL, but in their first head-to-head match-up, I'm leaning towards the hoodied curmudgeon over the Negro neophyte. Pick: New England

Joe: Damn it, Cam. All signs do seem to be pointing to New England here. The injuries for Indianapolis, the law of averages, my own personal Murphy's Law. And yet, I feel like I should be contrary here. Pick: Indianapolis

Baltimore at Cleveland

Aaron: Jesus, how long can the Browns milk national TV appearances off of their 10-6 season from a few years back? Pick: Baltimore

Joe: Oh, it's not like anybody watches Monday Night Football anymore. Pick: Baltimore

1 comment:

Beefy Muchacho said...

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