Sunday, October 25, 2009

Smooth Joey Apollo's 2009 NFL Picks: Week 7

Last Week:

Joe 9-5
Aaron 8-6

Season to Date:

Joe 60-30
Aaron 57-33


Indianapolis at St. Louis

Aaron: More games like this one, Commissioner Goodell. Makes for easy pickin'. Pick: Indianapolis

Joe: I have a feeling I'd enjoy watching this Colts team. Not that I'll have a prayer of getting to see them in this game. Pick: Indianapolis

New England at Tampa Bay

Aaron: I'm looking forward to this game only because it'll mean that a week's worth of bad sportscaster jokes about the Patriots "returning" to England will be behind us. Pick: New England

Joe: I'm curious about all the people picking this game as a guaranteed unholy blowout. Really? No chance the Pats blew their wad running up the score on Tennessee and the murky London weather grinds this game to an ugly halt? I'm not saying the Bucs will win (they, um, won't), but these England games are never that high-scoring. Pick: New England

San Francisco at Houston

Aaron: The 49ers sure looked like a team that packed it in early two weeks ago vs. Atlanta. Bringing the Michael Crabtree soap opera into their locker room can't help. Pick: Houston

Joe: Frank Gore back in the SF backfield helps. So does Houston's firm commitment to showing up every other week. Pick: San Francisco
More picks after the jump...

Minnesota at Pittsburgh

Aaron: Against three of the league's bottom feeders (Tennessee, Cleveland and Detroit) the Steelers' average margin of victory is just eight points. Hey, if you don't use those grade school math skills, you lose 'em. Pick: Minnesota

Joe: I hate this Vikings team so, so, so much. That Ravens game was a total heartbreaker, and the second time this season I've been cut to the end of a Vikings game only to see them avert disaster. Jerks. Pick: Pittsburgh

San Diego at Kansas City

Aaron: Every year, the Chargers' inevitable implosion occurs earlier and earlier. And, can I say that watching LaDanian Tomlinson pout on the sidelines is only 10% less fun that watching it in the playoffs. Pick: Kansas City

Joe: If KC was any good, they'd have worked an awful Redskins team way worse than they did. Pick: San Diego

Green Bay at Cleveland

Aaron: Detroit last week, Cleveland this week. Way to prep for your rematch against Favre and the Vikings next week, guys. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: There's just not enough Polish sausage in the world for these two fanbases. Pick: Green Bay

N.Y. Jets at Oakland

Aaron: The Raiders need only do two things to win this game: (1) Play defense. (2) Receive a non-embarassing performance from JaMarcus Russell for the second straight week. One of these things will not happen. Pick: NY Jets

Joe: Reasons the Raiders are not worse than the Bills #1: If Mark Sanchez throws five interceptions in the game, the Raiders will win by at least four. Pick: NY Jets

Buffalo at Carolina

Aaron: Did you know that Bills coach Dick Jauron has been a head coach for 10 years on three different teams yet has only one winning season to his credit? This...uh, this won't be the second. Pick: Carolina

Joe: Reasons the Raiders are not worse than the Bills #2: DeAngelo Williams is about to score 3 touchdowns on our asses. Pick: Carolina

Chicago at Cincinnati

Aaron: Both teams are coming off of disheartening losses after playing well for a few weeks. I still don't believe in Cincy, but they've played better - and against better competition - than the Bears. Pick: Cincinnati

Joe: The Bears can't run the ball. The Bengals can. With the Bears old running back, who couldn't run the ball in Chicago. In related news, somebody punch me in the face the next time I try to draft a Bears running back in fantasy football. Pick: Cincinnati

New Orleans at Miami

Aaron: Those of you who've talked yourselves into thinking the Dolphins and their sandlot offense can take this one are f*cking high. Pick: New Orleans

Joe: No fair stealing my blurb. Though I would not have opted for that asterisk. Pick: New Orleans

Atlanta at Dallas

Aaron: I haven't enjoyed watching such a historic sports franchise roll out such a mediocre roster since Alvaro Espinoza roamed the middle infield for the late '80s Yankees. Pick: Atlanta

Joe: HEY! Your failure to recall the name of Pat Kelly is an insult. Pick: Atlanta

Arizona at N.Y. Giants

Aaron: Kurt Warner! Eli Manning! If Jeff Feagles were still in the league, we'd have been able to see a reunion of everyone who threw at least one pass for the 2004 Giants. Wait, Feagles is still kickin'? Figuratively or literally? Pick: NY GIants

Joe: Is this "Eli Manning can't throw in cold weather" business a thing or the result of sports writers and pundits having too much time to try to explain that Eagles playoff loss last year? Pick: NY Giants

Philadelphia at Washington

Aaron: Philly's loss to Appalachian State last week really should've been a bigger deal. How has Donovan McNabb gotten away with so many poor performances against lousy teams in his career? Rush Limbaugh tried to warn us. Pick: Philadelphia

Joe: On the bright side for Eagles fans, it's better for them to lose to the crappy AFC team and beat the crappy team within their own division rather than the other way around. Pick: Philadelphia

1 comment:

Tom said...

It's "a thing" but it's a "Hellish late January in the Meadowlands" thing... not a "45 and crisp in late October" thing.

Which is why a little part of me is happy that, should the Giants go far this year, the NFC Title game would be indoors in New Orleans, not outdoors in hell.