Sunday, October 18, 2009

Smooth Joey Apollo's 2009 NFL Picks: Week 6

Last Week:
Aaron: 10-4
Joe: 9-5

Season to Date:
Joe: 51-25
Aaron: 49-27

WEEK 6

Carolina at Tampa Bay

Aaron: Fun Fact - Both teams have been beaten by a touchdown or more in all their losses this season except vs. Washington. The Bucs lost by a field goal and the Panthers won by the same margin. Your definition of "fun" probably differs from mine. Pick: Tampa Bay

Joe: That QB swap from Leftwich to the paper boy really went a long way towards turning the Bucs into lovable losers. That and the fact that we've given up on all Bucs for our fantasy teams and thus have no reason to be mad at them. Pick: Carolina


Detroit at Green Bay

Aaron: With two weeks to stew over that loss to Brett Favre, look for Aaron Rodgers to exact his revenge on the poor defenseless Lions. They're the baby seal cubs of the NFL. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: Ah, Detroit. The other lovable losers. And losers they shall remain, especially with Matthew Stafford and Calvin Johnson laid up. Pick: Green Bay


St. Louis at Jacksonville

Aaron: How'd that "pick the best player on the field" methodology work out for you in last week's Seahawks (41) v. Jags (0) game, Joe? Pick: Jacksonville

Joe: Oh, I'm sorry I didn't think to push all my chips to the center of the table on Nate Burleson. Back to the Jags, though -- shouldn't Jack Del Rio be banned from the NFL for life after suspending Mike Sims-Walker for extracurricular (i.e. lady-fucking) activities, thus ruining countless (i.e. my) fantasy football teams. Jerk. Pick: Jacksonville


Baltimore at Minnesota

Aaron: So, wait...you're telling me that it was too early to annoint the Ravens as the league's best team after they beat the Chargers in Week #2? Why didn't you tell me?! Pick: Minnesota

Joe: It would figure that the Ravens' fortunes would sour as soon as I finally started buying into them. And yet...I shall continue to do so. Pick: Baltimore


Houston at Cincinnati

Aaron: Any room left on the Bengals bandwagon for a guy who never stopped believing in Carson Palmer and has enjoyed the glorious bojanglin' of Chad Ochocinco from day one? Pick: Cincinnati

Joe: I don't know how you can look at yourself in a mirror. Pick: Houston


Kansas City at Washington

Aaron: Chiefs have a chance to climb back to respectability over the next four weeks (Chargers at home, at J'ville, at Oakland after this). The Skins are counting down the days until the Mike Shanahan era begins. Pick: Kansas City

Joe: The Chiefs' big weakness this season has been poor play on defense. That's gonna hurt them next time they play a team with an offense. Pick: Kansas City


N.Y. Giants at New Orleans

Aaron: You're not playing JaMarcus Russell this week, Giants. Pick: New Orleans

Joe: In a coin-flip game like this, I'll go with the chance to pick up a game on you. Pick: NY Giants


Cleveland at Pittsburgh

Aaron: You're not playing Trent Edwards this week, Browns. Pick: Pittsburgh

Joe: Seriously, that Cleveland win over the Bills last week was something else. There hasn't been anyone to look that bad while winning since Hillary Clinton at the Pennsylvania primary. I know, you were thinking the same thing, right? Pick: Pittsburgh


Philadelphia at Oakland

Aaron: Several Bay Area media outlets report Al Davis WANTS head coach Tom Cable to be formally charged with assaulting an assistant coach so that Cable can be fired "for cause" and his contract voided. As a fan, it's like falling down a bottomless pit, waiting to hit bottom - yet bottom never comes. Pick: Philadelphia

Joe: On the bright side, at least you don't have a hockey team that will suck your soul away during the months between football and baseball seasons. Pick: Philadelphia

Arizona at Seattle

Aaron: Is Seattle's 5th ranked defense for real? Two shutouts vs. the Rams n' Jags has me leaning towards "no". Pick: Arizona

Joe: We haven't yet reached the point in the season where it matters, but at some point we're going to need to find out if the Cardinals are a good team underachieving or a bd team squeaking out some wins. Pick: Arizona


Tennessee at New England

Aaron: Junior Seau, 48, is returning to the Pats for his 28th NFL season. No one is questioning this and Seau credits a "strenuous workout regimen" for staying in football shape. All natural. Yessir. Pick: New England

Joe: Technically, voodoo does count as "all natural." Pick: New England


Buffalo at N.Y. Jets

Aaron: My team's STILL worse than your team, Joe. Pick: NY Jets

Joe: I won't even justify such a ludicrous statement with a response. Pick: NY Jets


Chicago at Atlanta

Aaron: Hey, it's two evenly matched teams. I always get these games wrong. More mismatches, please. Pick: Chicago

Joe: Hey, me too! We should start a club or something. Pick: Atlanta


Denver at San Diego

Aaron: Does this count as a "letdown" game for Denver after an emotional win vs. New England last week? Meh. Good enough excuse for me to pick against 'em, I s'pose. Pick: San Diego

Joe: I say "letdown game" too, but for the record, if Denver wins this game, they maybe become this season's '08 Tennessee Titans. Just don't let me pick them in the playoffs. Pick: San Diego
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6 comments:

Mandie Reed said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
That Bootleg Guy said...

Ha. I got the same porny/spam comment on the same post.

Joe Reid said...

Ah, yes, thanks for reminding me to delete that.

jessica said...

Hehehehe. I hope you guys had some Patriots players on your fantasy teams.

I'm sorry, but 59-0 is STUPID.

Joe Reid said...

It certainly is stupid. On the bright side, they're sure to be #1 in the coaches poll later today.

jessica said...

Seriously. My boyfriend goes into tonight's game down like 117-93 in one of his leagues, which is just ridiculous.