Thursday, October 22, 2009

Double Stuff It, Oreo

I'll have thoughts on the So You Think You Can Dance top 20 over the weekend, and at some point I'll have to uncurl from this fetal position and discuss this whole business about Mia Michaels leaving the show (I...can't right now).

But then AB Chao went and sent me a link to this interview with choreographer, SYTYCD judge, and all around obnoxious person Tyce Diorio. It was conducted back in April, to coincide with the release of the behind-the-scenes Chorus Line documentary Every Little Step. Have you seen that, by the way? Do you know that you totally should? Not to ruin it for you or anything, but Tyce is completely irritating, which makes for a wholly satisfying point in the story where...well, you should see it.

But you guys? This interview is like concentrated douche in three internet pages. Everything that you think you sense in Tyce from the judges' table is totally confirmed, and on top of that, you've got a smug, bitchy, fawning interviewer who seems to exist simply to ask Tyce, repeatedly, just how awesome he is. Some choice quotes (and there are many):

I don’t know what I sound like in the movie or how they edited me to be. I’m sure it’s interesting and colorful (laughs) knowing myself. I wonder if it makes me sound arrogant?

First of all, I'm calling utter bullshit on him not having seen the movie yet. Clearly, he has and knows how poorly he comes off (in his "edit," which as always is the telltale sign of a dickface, when they complain about their edit, in this case even before the movie's come out). And yes, maybe it MAKES you sound arrogant. Where else would we get this impression?

I have a question for you, what was so interesting about my last callback?

At this point, even the interviewer -- who spends the entire interview entirely up Tyce's ass, mind you -- actually calls Tyce out for the "Enough about me, what do you think of me?" stuff. Of course, this interviewer immediately loses a billion more points when, after discussing how Tyce totally blew his onscreen audition, "Fuck them. It looks beautiful. I would have hired you."

Then the pair of them spend about six paragraphs being totally catty about this girl in the movie, which is charming ("
I can’t remember her name, but she looks like Candis Cayne." -- from the journalist). Ladies, the two of you sitting down and sharpening your claws over how brilliant y'all are and how tragic everyone else is doesn't not count as an interview. It barely counts as a conversation. Anyway, I was supposed to be quoting Tyce, wasn't I?

Well, Bob Fosse, Jerome Robbins and Michael Bennett are kind of mavericks. Bob Fosse would have lived for me.
[Yes, he did.]

Rob Marshall: fantastic. He’s a huge fan of mine. I’m on his A-list. And he was nominated for an Oscar. So, come on.

Janet [Jackson] knows how to treat dancers. She makes them as important as her because without us she can’t do what she does.

I own three homes. I drive a really nice car and not because I want to show off, but just because I can.

That last one isn't even interesting arrogance. It's just cookie-cutter. Common. It's what you say when you are trying oh so very hard to seem arrogant because that's how you think incredibly talented a successful people like yourself are supposed to act.

Seriously, read the whole thing for yourself, then come back here and barf up your lunch in the comments.


Eires32 said...

This guy is off the charts. I saw Every Little Step with my mom, and at the end we were both "PLEASE, do not let this douchebag capitalize on any faux fame/notoriety he may get". (well, my mom definitely did not say 'douchebag').
I do not watch SYTYCD, but when I saw the clip on The Soup, lunch was indeed barfed up (almost).

Anonymous said...

I tried to read the interview but his douchery was just more then I could handle!

momo said...

"concentrated douche in three internet pages." and now I know hy Katie Holmes was treated like God's gift to dance by the show. *retch*

Joslyn H said...

I don't even know where to start. This is exactly why it makes me crazy that he has an Emmy - because the absolute last thing Tyce needs is encouragement for this kind of behavior/persona. That interviewer is truly awful too. "Come on, Tyce, don't get catty on me now. You were being so gracious." NO. He wasn't even being disingenuously gracious; Tyce was working overtime to be obviously catty throughout the entire thing!

eliza said...

Odious. Loathsome. Those were the words that came to mind when I read this. Google turned up this interview after I watched Every Little Step, and I almost could not believe what I was reading. I still feel dirty, several days after the fact. You capture its horribleness very well.

eliza said...

Forgot to say that the part that I found most repulsive in an interview rife with repulsive remarks was this: "I would have to boldly say that if Michael Bennett was alive I would have been in that line." He dares to speculate this about Michael Bennett (RIP)? Disgusting. HATE!

Anonymous said...

Read the book On the Line. Bennett was a monster to work for who would have eaten this little putz for lunch.

Andrea said...

That was insane. Ok, my favorite part was regarding Katie Holmes. This:

I teach her to dance. I’ve been doing so for a year and a half. So I have her four days a week.

So, he taught her four days a week for a year and a half and she *still* sucked ass like no other on SYTYCD? Really. Good job, Uberdouche. Your talent is surely staggering.