I'd love to talk about "Idol" in full tonight, but beyond the fact that a) I'm rooting for Kris, b) they both sounded pretty tired tonight and c) it's effing late on a weeknight, I'm only going to talk about the Kara DioGuardi co-penned coronation song, "No Boundaries." According to my scorecard, we got a "mountains" a "believe" and several "dreams." But where was "wings," Kara?? I could have had "Bingo"!
Is it the worst coronation song in Idol history? No. That honor still goes to Taylor Hicks's abominable "Do I Make You Proud?" But "Boundaries" was definitely bland, cliched, and ill-suited to the guys who had to actually sing it, enough to put it clearly in the bottom tier.
And since I need you lovely people to hold up the bulk of this conversation, I'm putting to you: Which Idol coronation song was the worst? The best (aka the least worst)? Where does Kara's ditty rank?
For the record, my list would look like:
1) "A Moment Like This" Kelly Clarkson (Fond memories of Kelly breaking down probably inflate its appeal some, but it's still the only one that managed to earworm me as a radio single.)
2) "I Believe" Fantasia Barrino (Probably the coronation song most elevated by the winner's vocal performance. Miss 'Tasia really broke it off on a song you really shouldn't be able to break anything off with.)
3) "The Time of My Life" David Cook (Perfectly adequate and acceptable. Which, yes, puts you in the top 3 of this sorry bunch.)
4) "I Want to Be Inside Your Heaven" Carrie Underwood (Hear me out! Yes, the lyrics are beyond ridiculous, and kind of creepy in an ecclesiastical way. But it manages to be SO bad that it's almost campy and as a pop melody it's really not bad.)
5) "This Is My Now" Jordin Sparks (Ah yes, the contest-winning viewer-penned song that killed Blake Lewis dead on the stage. Jordin's rendition managed to make the insipid lyrics tolerable for a minute or two.)
6) "No Boundaries" Adam Lambert/Kris Allen (Still waiting for "wings" damn it!)
7) "Flying Without Wings" Ruben Studdard (See! This crappy-ass song had "wings"! Right in the title!)
8) "Do I Make You Proud" Taylor Hicks (As with everything Taylor-related, this is the worst ever.)