Thursday, May 07, 2009

Embarrassing Movie Wednesdays: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past


You guys, not only is Ghosts of Girlfriends Past not a good movie, it's not a good bad movie. And on Embarrassing Movie Wednesday, that's just unforgivable. Matthew McConaughey, how dare you?

Seriously, though, what a joyless, humor-deficient, inept excuse for a movie. Bad movie! Sure, it was a strained premise to begin with -- the Christmas Carol ripoff is beyond tired for TV episodes, much less feature films -- but if anyone had considered really going for it, Ghosts could have been salvageable. There were ingredients there, but they're all wasted. Cadre of slutty bridesmaids? Wasted! Sleazy Michael Douglas? Wasted! Anne Archer at her slurry, cougary, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia best? Wasted! This is a movie that managed to make Emma Stone unfunny and Jennifer Garner unlikeable. And speaking as someone who almost always loves Jennifer Garner, that takes some serious doing.

Also, it takes a special kind of inept to have a movie about what a man-ho Matthew McConaughey is and only have him take his shirt off once. ONCE!

You know, I used to feel bad that Tina Fey got all the credit for how awesome Mean Girls was while Mark Waters remained anonymous. Now that Waters has followed up that modern-day classic with Just Like Heaven, The Spiderwick Chronicles, and now this? I officially no longer have to feel bad.

ETA: Tara and Will, my esteemed EMW companions, just blogged about the awfulness over on Sling. They reminded me of two points: 1) The total "Pick-Up Artist" vibes coming off of Michael Douglas. And 2) Jennifer Garner was Lacey Chabert's maid of honor despite having to discernible relationship to her. You'd assume Jen plays Lacey's sister, right? NO! So we were left to an endless guessing game: Was Jen her girl scout troop leader? Her wedding planner? The doctor who delivered her as a baby? The movie didn't even pretend like it wanted to clarify.

four bags over the head.

Previously in the Embarassing Movie Series: Obsessed, 17 Again, The Hannah Montana Movie, Monsters vs. Aliens, Fired Up!

Next up: Sublimated dancing is better than no kinda dancing at all.

1 comment:

jessica said...

Yeah, this was really bad. And I seriously will watch ANY incarnation of A Christmas Carol, no matter how tired it is. I even watched Tori Spelling's TV movie, A Carol Christmas.

... I know.