So given how unashamedly awesome Adventureland was, I probably had it coming when this week's entry turned out to be ... The Hannah Montana Movie. Probably wouldn't have been my first choice, but I am nothing if not a team player, and plus, it amuses me to be on the Hannah side of the Hannah Montana v. Observe and Report box-office battle.
So pretty clearly, the best Hannah Montana could do for me was to be a guilty pleasure. And in honor of Miley's commitment to science, I'm going to break this down:
GUILTY: The songs, which were uniformly awful and even with the Studio Magic machine chugging away, Miley sounded like shiiiiiiit; the Margo Martindale/Barry Bostwick subplot went nowhere; the Razzie-worthy "acting" of Billy Ray Cyrus, not to mention his constant attempts to horn in on his daughter's action by performing his own material, like, your Achy Breaky moment is OVER, Billy Ray; Melora Hardin, much as I love her, could not be less convincing as a Tennessean if she were dating Jerry Seinfeld; the whole plot hinges on a creepy little girl who doesn't even turn out to be a harbinger of The Ring or a symptom of The Haunting in Connecticut.
PLEASURE: Miley's twinky-looking boyfriend striking a series of the gayest poses this side of Drag Race whilst he and Miley spend the course of the movie painting a rainbow-striped chicken coop (seriously!); pretty much everything Vanessa Williams does, but especially the dancing during the end credits; the Tyra Banks shoe fight which comes across as a cautionary tale about prokoving narcissistic drag queens (wow, two drag queen references in the Hannah Montana review ... yeah, that seems about right); watching Billy Ray constantly play the authentic Tennessean card from behind his wisps of flat-ironed hair.
Overall? It's still pretty bad. But more than good enough for making fun of on a Wednesday night.