In case you were worried I'd gotten cool or something. No, it's just that most of my Idol efforts have been funneled in the direction of the Idol pool I'm running. But I know I promised that I'd keep up with the Idol chatter in my post-TWoP days, so I'm going to cross-post what I wrote there over here. And then we can all discuss why Adam Lambert is giving me a cerebral hemorrhage.
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Okay, the judges were so bullshitty this week. They have been all season (and, arguably, since time immemorial), but most especially tonight. I don't want to hear what song you'd have picked for them, Randy. And Kara. And Simon (who I really thought was better than the other ones). Maybe critique the performance they DID give and not the one they didn't? Paula's been an odd bright spot this season, but she was too drunk to hold up her end tonight. I did kind of like how the audience went from the usual pull-string-and-boo reactionary stuff to actually angrily jeering every time "song choice" was used as a negative.
And, to state the glaringly obvious, the theme this week was We Have No Theme, We Just Need to Product-Place iTunes a Whole Bunch.
Before he started to sing, I predicted he would gross me out. Good news! I was right! Kara actually said the one insightful comment in her repertoire tonight with the thing about this feeling like a frat prank. Anoop needs to stop looking at me like he wants to hate-fuck me, too. Because that is Adam Lambert's job. (Oh, and the vocals were for shit.)
"Turn Your Lights Down Low"
By about a mile and a half, this was Megan's best performance to date, so of course the judges shit all over it; and went overboard to the point that they probably garnered sympathy points for her. Megan's not a good singer, and compared to everyone else, she's still the worst. But the judges glossed over all that to shoehorn her in the finals, so to be so mean when she finally didn't suck ass was crappy.
"What Hurts the Most"
Gross, but for different reasons than Anoop. I don't know, I guess he was good. He's Danny and it's country music -- I don't have the synapses to process both those things at once into good/bad.
As an unabashed Allison fan, I think this was her weakest performance yet, but not bad. The vocals were fine, but the arrangement sucked all the wind out of that song. It was an oddly unsatisfying performance, and I'd have liked to have explored why, exactly. So the judges spent the entirety of their time slamming her outfit. Awesome.
"Just the Way You Are"
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. And his hair looked stupid.
"You Found Me"
I thought he was fantastic, best of the night by a good margin. He even managed to make the "stranded in an island of morons" conceit work, which I totally didn't think would happen. He was professional, controlled, confident, and one of the few who actually did what the judges said they wanted and came across like you figure he would in his own career. But there's Kara telling him he has to choose rock or R&B because versatility sucks.
Each week, I think I understand Lil less and less. This should have been a good song for her, yes? But it really, really didn't work out that way. Maybe she's just very limited as a singer. I can see her going Bottom 3 tomorrow.
It is also at this point that I am obligated to present my favorite performance of "I Surrender" on Idol, by one Mr. Anthony Fedorov:
"Play That Funky Music"
God, I can't deal with this performance. It's like ... this is a joke, and I get that, but I don't think it's a very good joke. I don't see where this is clever, I don't see where this is artistic, and much as I think Adam is vocally on point, the shrieking really turns me off. And, sorry Simon, this was maybe the most karaoke performance of the night.
"Ain't No Sunshine"
Disappointly boring song choice aside, this was a perfectly representative Kris Allen performance. He's never going to doing something totally cool and amazing and mind-blowing. There's a definite ceiling to the places Kris can go. But he manages to press up against that ceiling pretty much every week, giving the absolute best performance his mid-level ambition calls for. I don't even mean that as a backhanded compliment because I love him and I could watch him perform like this once a day, every day, for fucking ever. Also, I am a total sucker for a string section.
Best Three: Matt, Kris, and I guess Adam by default, if only because he hit all the notes
Worst Three: Anoop, Lil, and Scott
Predicted Bottom Three: Megan, Lil, and either Allison or Anoop, and whichever of those two it is will be going home. (Unless people just don't like Matt and agree with the judges, in which case he goes.)