Friday, January 02, 2009

Smooth Joey Apollo's NFL Playoff Picks

Last Week:
Aaron: 10-6 (0-1 vs. the spread)
Joe: 10-6 (1-0 vs. the spread)

Aaron: 165-90-1 (6-11 vs. the spread)
Joe: 162-93-1 (10-7 vs. the spread)

So, yes, I lost the regular season competition for the THIRD year in a row. It's a Buffalo thing, what can I tell you? I did, however, take the first annual against-the-spread crown, so there's that.

Anyway, we move on to picking the playoff games now. All games picked against the spread, with score predictions and everything. Because the playoffs are where antes get upped.

Atlanta Falcons (-1) at Arizona Cardinals
Joe: The big story this weekend is that all four road teams seem to be favored over the four home teams. It's not all going to pan out like we think it does, but I really don't think the momentum-free Cards have it in them, Matt Ryan's rookie QB jitters or not. Atlanta 31, Arizona 21

Aaron: Seeing how I finished with such an infinitesimal success percentage in our season-long single-game picks against the spread, I'll understand if you doubt my words here. That said, this is the most ridiculous free-money line of the playoffs. Bet early, bet often and thank my Black ass on Sunday. Atlanta 30, Arizona 10

Indianapolis Colts (-1) at San Diego Chargers
Joe: So, LaDanian Tomlinson looks like he's finally back in fighting shape, right? And don't sell me the line about Broncos' crappy defense -- LT played plenty of crappy Ds this season (including the Chiefs twice) and never looked half as good as he did Sunday night. Unfortunately, the Chargers' defense is for shit, and the Colts have got all cylinders firing. Indianapolis 41, San Diego 27

Aaron: Seems like we had this same scenario last year as the Colts were nine point favorites at home vs. the Chargers in last year's Divisional round, mostly off of Peyton Manning's reputation of awesome. I called the upset there and I'm calling it here. SD played Indy tough when they met in late November and I'm smelling big games from some Chargers players none of you have ever heard of. San Diego 33, Indianapolis 27

Baltimore Ravens (-3) at Miami Dolphins
Joe: So in the epic Flacco vs. Pennington battle, will Chad Pennington actually hold a competitive advantage because he's a veteran? God help me, I think he might. Miami 16, Baltimore 10

Aaron: The Ravens won by two touchdowns when these teams played earlier in the season. Even spotting Miami a flattened learning curve AND home field advantage, Flacco could completely crap the bed and still win a field goal fest if the Ravens defense just shows up. Baltimore 12, Miami 10

Philadelphia Eagles (-3) at Minnesota Vikings
Joe: Did you see that 44-6 pasting of hated divisional rival Dallas last week? With Andy Reid whooping it up on the sidelines and Eagles fans getting improbable visions back-to-back major sports titles dancing in their heads? Yeah, put that in the dictionary next to the term "blowing your wad." (It's a filthy dictionary, all right?) Minnesota 28, Philadelphia 23

Aaron: What's the word for people who take Tarvaris Jackson in a playoff game? Philadelphia 19, Minnesota 6


Mark said...

Not only did you take the Vikings...but the Dolphins?

I'm just saying, these are the Ravens opponents whom they have lost to: Steelers (twice), Colts, Titans and Giants and three of those games were really close.

I'm telling you, the Ravens are the dark horse to win it all.

That Bootleg Guy said...

Shhh, Mark. Keep it down. Your salient points could force Smooth Joey to change his mind minutes before kickoff (again) and deny us the following Joe quote for next week:

"Well, folks, when you're right 52% of the time, you're wrong 48% of the time."

("Why didn't you say that before!")

Joe Reid said...

You know, I may end up being wrong on that Miami call, but after Arizona busting through your lock of the week up there, Cam, I'm not sure you're in the position to call me on it.

(Even though you were kind of 100% right about the Chargers-Colts game. Damn it.)

Mark said...

Damn. Suddenly Norv Turner is an okay playoff coach.

The world is ending, guys...

(And - shit, I had the Colts winning it all)