Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Smooth Joey Apollo's 2008 NFL Picks: Week 13

Last Week:
Aaron: 6-10 (0-1 vs. the spread)
Joe: 10-6 (1-0 vs. the spread)

Season to Date:
Joe: 114-61-1 (6-6 vs. the spread)
Aaron: 111-64-1 (5-7 vs. the spread)


Tennessee at Detroit
Aaron: With news that the NFL is moving the Pro Bowl to Super Bowl week at the home of the host stadium, there’s a new leader in the clubhouse for "most irrelevant game at an annual site." Booyah, Detroit! Pick: Tennessee

Joe: Wait, they're doing WHAT with the Pro Bowl? Anyway, blame stupid Brett Favre and the stupid Jets for ruining an 11-0 Titans vs. 0-11 Lions matchup here. Have you no sense of symmetry?? Pick: Tennessee

Seattle at Dallas
Aaron: It’s a miracle that I won in my money league last week with Tony Romo on the bench and Jay F****n Cutler as my QB (Michael Turner’s 4 TDs didn’t hurt). Anyways, I’m officially turning over the rest of my season to Romo. I think we all know how this will end. Pick: Dallas

Joe: This game has "3 TD effort from Marion Barber" written all over it. Pick: Dallas

Arizona at Philadelphia
Aaron: In the span of 48 hours, Eagles coach Andy Reid benched his starting QB, then his back-up. Lousy Phillies. This whole town could've been on suicide watch all winter. Thanks, Ryan Howard (eventually)! Pick: Arizona

Joe: Obvious joke, but: You think Donovan McNabb knew that QBs get benched in the NFL? And a side note -- sucks that the Thursday games are two no-brainers and the Eagles, who have burned Aaron and both enough times that we may never pick them again. Which adds up to three unanimous picks. I blame the media. Pick: Arizona

New Orleans at Tampa Bay
Aaron: If the Saints were an NBA team from the late '80s, they'd be the all-offense, no-defense Denver Nuggets. Remember them? Fat Lever? Ah, to hell with you kids. Pick: New Orleans

Joe: I know you all can't get enough of my talking about my fantasy football team, so you'll be fascinated to know that I have both Drew Brees and the Tampa defense (and riding both of them to a late playoff charge), so I'm hoping for a very specific point dispersal today, wherein the Saints score three touchdowns, all passing, and the Bucs return two punts for touchdowns. That's all! Pick: Tampa Bay

Miami at St. Louis
Aaron: The Dolphins have had exactly one convincing, blow-out win all season – when they debuted the 'wildcat' in week #3. Miami is not a good team. St. Louis is worse. Pick: Miami

Joe: But the Rams are playing at home! ...Yeah, doesn't matter. Pick: Miami

NY Giants at Washington
Aaron: Thank Allah the Giants (and Jets) have returned New York to the center of ESPN's Nation of Bloviation. Pick: NY Giants

Joe: You'd think with all that perfect weather you're always bragging about you wouldn't have such an inferiority complex, San Diddy. Sad. Pick: NY Giants

Carolina at Green Bay
Aaron: That was some kind of ugly courtesy of the Packers' nonexistent Monday Night defense. Thankfully, Jake Delhomme is about 50% of Drew Brees. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: I'm not calling for a Carolina swoon, per se, but a second-straight loss here puts the NFC South completely up for grabs. As it should be. Pick: Green Bay

Indianapolis at Cleveland
Aaron: I think Derek Anderson is due for one last strong performance before his December ineptitude sinks the team for the 2nd straight year. Pick: Cleveland

Joe: I think I'm down with this Peyton Manning and the Juggheads team even more now that Anthony Gonzalez has made the leap as the Little White Wideout of '08. Pick: Indianapolis

San Francisco at Buffalo
Aaron: There's an old saying amongst us elitists: "Correlation does not equal causation". Yet, the moment Joe stops believing in his Bills, they put up 54 points and snap a four game losing streak. Pick: Buffalo

Joe: That's a nice bit of reverse psychology there, friend, but you're not getting me to pick the Niners on the road. Pick: Buffalo

Baltimore at Cincinnati
Aaron: Before the season, there was a schism in the Ravens' locker room over who should be the starting QB. Good thing the Ravens' defense never learned how to spell "schism". Pick: Baltimore

Joe: I'd almost like to take the Bengals here, if I didn't think Joe Flacco would easily outrush their entire team. Pick: Baltimore

Atlanta at San Diego
Aaron: As long as the Broncos continue to sleepwalk thru the season – while two games up on San Diego – the Chargers are ostensibly still "in it". As such, every San Diego loss is potentially the one that ends their season. It's like that Groundhog Day movie, but 100x more awesome. And, I loved that movie! Pick: Atlanta

Joe: Two ways this game goes: Michael Turner burns his old team en route to ending their season or the Chargers keep their longsuffering and maligned fanbase strung along for yet another week. I'm going with the option that would post please Cam. Pick: San Diego

Pittsburgh at New England
Aaron: Just so we're clear: Matt Cassel has not "arrived" until he beats a team with a decent defense. To quote a little-seen, 15-year-old movie, "Let's not start suckin' each others…", well, if you don't know the rest, go rent it. Not sure, but it might still be available on VHS. Pick: Pittsburgh

Joe: Wow, stealing Bill Simmons's material? I thought I knew you. Pick: Pittsburgh

Kansas City at Oakland
Aaron: I don't believe in this Raiders team. Pick: Kansas City

Joe: That's not gonna work for both of us, dude. Pick: Kansas City

Denver at NY Jets
Aaron: We're almost there, America! The Jets have ascended to #2 on most every so-called "power rankings" system. Brett Favre's inevitable season-ending self-immolation is almost upon us. Just a few more weeks! Pick: NY Jets

Joe: Eeeeeee! It's gonna be better than Christmas! Pick: NY Jets

Chicago at Minnesota
Aaron: Does an 18-point road win against an underachieving Jaguars team mean anything for the Vikings in the grand scheme of a long season? I kind of think it does. Well, for this game, anyway. Pick: Minnesota

Joe: Hmmm ... Gus Frerotte as a playoff QB? Can the Cowboys (or Bucs) be so lucky?? Pick: Minnesota

Jacksonville at Houston
Aaron: If we've learned nothing else this season, it's that Sage Rosenfels will find a way to lose football games. Last week, notwithstanding. Pick: Jacksonville

Joe: Jesus H, is this the Monday Night game? What did Mike Tirico ever do to deserve this? Oh, right. Pick: Jacksonville

The Sure-Thing Suicide Spread
Aaron: Atlanta (+4 1/2) at San Diego

Joe: Denver at NY Jets (-7.5)

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