Saturday, November 01, 2008

Smooth Joey Apollo's 2008 NFL Picks: Week 9

Last week:
Aaron: 9-5 (0-1 vs. the spread)
Joe: 12-2 (0-1 vs. the spread)

Season to Date:
Aaron: 73-43 (4-4 vs. the spread)
Joe: 76-40 (4-4 vs. the spread)


N.Y. Jets at Buffalo
Aaron: It's telling – to me, anyway – that even Brett Favre's staunchest supporters (SI's Peter King, the ESPN family of networks) seem a little less sure of his lily-white façade. I'm expecting Evil Brett to have a nice little midseason run of malevolence. Pick: NY Jets

Joe: Yes, America, that was one truly bad game by the Bills last week awful. Sloppy and loose and miserable. No other team in the league has had any games like that this year. The season is over. Pick: Buffalo

Detroit at Chicago
Aaron: Thanks, schedule makers. I needed to conserve on keystrokes this week. Pick: Chicago

Joe: Is anybody else a lil' bit concerned that the celebratedly sieve-like defense of the Lions has only given up 25, 28, and 12 points in the last three weeks? How am I supposed to plan my fantasy starters around THAT? Pick: Chicago

Jacksonville at Cincinnati
Aaron: The Bengals have the look of a team that stopped caring six weeks ago. As such, I'm not picking 'em the rest of the way. I'll trade the seven times I'll be right, for the one time I'll be wrong. Pick: Jacksonville

Joe: Yeah, that team that looked frisky against the Giants, Cowboys, and Jets doesn't seem to be there anymore. Take a long, hard look Future No. 1 Draft Pick Whose Name I Don't Know Because I Haven't Been Paying a Ton of Attention to College Ball This Season! Pick: Jacksonville

Baltimore at Cleveland
Aaron: After a couple of impressive showings, I'm forced to pick the Browns until their next random bed-wetting. I'm sure they'll save it for one of their eight remaining Thursday/Sunday/Monday night prime-time games. Pick: Cleveland

Joe: The thing with Baltimore, I think, is that they suck except for when they don't. My guess is the Browns will keep trading wins for losses until the end of the season, when Brady Quinn will get his first NFL start, play like it's his first NFL start, and be summarily dismissed as a bust immediately. Pick: Baltimore

Tampa Bay at Kansas City
Aaron: The Bucs haven't played too well on the road against beatable opponents, while the Chiefs aren't nearly as bad as they looked earlier this season. F*ck, I just talked myself into it. Wait, just found out Larry Johnson's been suspended. Pick: Tampa Bay

Joe: While, yes, the Bucs do tend to play up (or in this case down) to the level of their opponents, they should feel the appropriate urgency to win this one, given how good Carolina is playing in their division. Pick: Tampa Bay

Houston at Minnesota
Aaron: It's not every day that an inter-conference match-up is as uninteresting as its baseball inter-league cousin, but there ya go. Pick: Minnesota

Joe: It seems like for the last three years, every time I pick against Minnesota, they win. Sorry, Houston. Pick: Houston

Arizona at St. Louis
Aaron: OK, any pre-game mouth that opens discussion of this game with "The Cardinals make their return to St. Louis…" 20 years after they left for Phoenix, should be shot. Shannon Sharpe, Michael Strahan, your move. Please. Pick: Arizona

Joe: Not gonna be much defense in this one. In the end, Warner has more weapons at his disposal. But make no mistake, I -- and my Boldin, Breaston, Avery-laden fantasy team -- want touchdowns and plenty of 'em. Pick: Arizona

Green Bay at Tennessee
Aaron: Enough with the "…there are no great teams in the NFL, except maybe Tennessee…" talk, media. Even that back-handed praise is too much. The Titans are not great. They're just not. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: And my picking them here is purely an attempt to jinx them. Pick: Tennessee

Miami at Denver
Aaron: I'm down to Jay Cutler in my money league, thanks to bye weeks and injuries. Combine that with a Broncos defense that's been a sieve all season… Pick: Miami

Joe: I don't know about Miami on the road. And while that Denver defense is garbage, the offense is strong. Pick: Denver

Dallas at N.Y. Giants
Aaron: The next time Giants fans are blowing up call-in radio shows and bitching about PSAs and good hygiene, I hope they thank the football karmic gods for clearing their team's path of healthy and/or good opposition all year. Pick: NY Giants

Joe: Yeah! Stupid lucky Super Bowl champions who keep winning games. Pick: NY Giants

Atlanta at Oakland
Aaron: Let's see…root for my Raiders to pick up a meaningless win in a forgettable season or root for Falcons RB Michael Turner to score some meaningful points for my fantasy team. This is hard! Pick: Atlanta

Joe: This is a good Atlanta team who will be a threat in the playoffs ... next season. Pick: Atlanta

Philadelphia at Seattle
Aaron: Unrelated to this game, but how is 25 years considered "suffering" for Philly sports fans? Did I miss a parade in Cleveland since 1983? 1973? Pick: Philadelphia

Joe: For as bad as this Seahawks team is, if they had Hasselbeck healthy, they'd be a threat to go 8-8 and win the division. I almost want to pick them here. Pick: Philadelphia

New England at Indianapolis
Aaron: Last Monday night's game against the Titans was the last shovel of dirt on the Colts' remarkable run. But, wait! There's Peyton Manning's right arm popping out of the grave, all dramatic and sh*t! Pick: Indianapolis

Joe: Yeah, not so fast there, gravediggers. Matt Cassel is no Kerry Collins, I can tell you that. Pick: Indianapolis

Pittsburgh at Washington
Aaron: If there were just ONE weeknight primetime match-up for me to pick wrong in the next few days, let it be this one. Pick: Pittsburgh

Joe: Isn't this that superstitious game where if the Redskins win then the Democrat wins the election, and if they lose, they might not make the playoffs? Pick: Washington

The Sure-Thing Suicide Spread:

Aaron: Dallas (+9) at N.Y. Giants

Joe: Tampa Bay at Kansas City (+9)

1 comment:

Bo said...

Typically, and I acknowledge I don't understand the logic, suffering is apparently limited to those cities that have franchises for all four major sports. Since Cleveland has no hockey team, the media decides they don't count.

But even if you count by number of major sports seasons (for us it was 100 or so) Cleveland would seem to me to be a winner (loser). Since the 1964 football championship, but minus a few years with no NFL team, plus a very few years with an NHL team gives more than 120 seasons, no?