Thursday, November 06, 2008

Several Open Letters to Several "Twilight" Cast Members

Dear Cedric Diggory,

Watch it with the hair, dude. We've already got one Russell Brand too many. Get that shit under control.

...Okay, too much.

There we go. And nice work in the "I'm such an aggressive kisser" interview. That's totally the press-interview equivalent of "my greatest flaw is that I work TOO hard."

Dear Cam Gigandet,

...Seriously, is this a joke? We're not in this for your face by any stretch of the imagination. Winter clothes are not for you, Torso Boy.

Dear Evan Rachel Wood,

Congratulations for finally -- FINALLY -- breaking up with Marilyn Manson. That shit was gross.

And yes, I realize it's Kristen Stewart and not you in Twilight, but nobody else does, and I didn't have anything to say about her.


adam k. said...

That picture of Evan makes me want to cast her as Cinderella or something. So very white and blonde and virginal.

And I personally like Cedric Diggory's crazy hair.

adam k. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

That picture of Evan makes me miss her even more.
So lovely!

Can she recover from the joke she's made of herself?