Saturday, October 11, 2008

Smooth Joey Apollo's 2008 NFL Picks: Week 6

Last week:
Aaron: 8-6 (1-0 vs. the spread)
Joe: 7-7 (1-0 vs. the spread)

Season To Date
Aaron: 46-28 (2-3 vs. the spread)
Joe: 43-31 (3-2 vs. the spread)

St. Louis at Washington
Aaron: After a pair of impressive road wins in Dallas and Philadelphia, the Redskins could be susceptible to one of those letdown games. If only they were playing a real NFL team this week. Pick: Washington

Joe: Couldn't have said it better myself. I still don't entirely buy this Washington team (yeah, yeah), but at home against the Rams I sure do. Pick: Washington

Miami at Houston
Aaron: Can we all agree that the Dolphins should be paying royalties for their use of the "wildcat" offense to the cast and crew of the mid-80s movie Wildcats? Let's divert the funds towards the reconstruction of Goldie Hawn's obliterated face. Pick: Houston

Joe: I just find it ironic that, well after Nick Saban scurried back to the cushy confines of the NCAA, Miami's fining their first success in years by reverting to a college ball offense. Acknowledge the irony! Pick: Houston

Detroit at Minnesota
Aaron: Pick the Lions again this week, Joe. Pretty please. Pick: Minnesota

Joe: I believe I've spotted you a big enough lead already. Pick: Minnesota

Oakland at New Orleans
Aaron: The Raiders are coming off of a bye week. And, they've promised to give QB JaMarcus Russell more freedom with the passing game. And Russell should have a lot of LSU love from fans in the stands. I irrationally pick Oakland once a year, people. Pick: Oakland

Joe: I know I continue to overrate the Saints this season, but if Martin Gramatica had been shipped back to Fistpumpania at the beginning of the season instead of allowed to plague yet another NFL team with his unreliability, this team would be 4-1. He won't be able to hurt them anymore. Pick: New Orleans

Carolina at Tampa Bay
Aaron: That change from Jeff Garcia to Brian Griese sure lit a fire under the Buccaneers, eh? But, as long as they employ Negro Ewok Warrick Dunn and a top-10 defense, I ain't picking against them at home. Well, this week, anyway. Pick: Tampa Bay

Joe: How does a team defense hold the Broncos offense to 13 points and still manage a mere 3 fantasy points? It's almost literally not possible. Here's hoping they remember what a sack looks like this week. Pick: Tampa Bay

Cincinnati at N.Y. Jets
Aaron: Brett Favre against this pass defense?! Let's set the over/under at 7.5 touchdown passes and start accepting that the old man is coming back next year. Oooh, I hope teases us in the offseason by waiting until June to announce his intentions! That scamp! Pick: NY Jets

Joe: Oh, how soon we forget. First we forgot that even the most embattled Brett Favre seasons included the 6 TD score-running-up outburst at home against a mediocre team. And now we're forgetting that he's also got that 3 INT game-killer in him too. Much like that other famous gunslinger in the news these days, Favre's crazy erratic. And wrong for this country. Pick: Cincinnati

Baltimore at Indianapolis
Aaron: Peyton Manning's ascension to the upper echelon of Teflon athletes was complete last week with all the credit he received for leading the Colts to the most gift-wrapped victory of his career. Ravens…destroy him. Pick: Baltimore

Joe: I'm not sure I agree with your premise, Cam. All I heard last week was the evisceration of Sage Rosenfels which, coupled with the quip-happy ESPNers bending over backwards to make note of Sage being a Jew (guess he's got one more thing to atone for, et cetera) made things awful uncomfortable for viewers. But don't let that interfere with your zealous hatred for all things Manning. Pick: Indianapolis

Chicago at Atlanta
Aaron: Hmmm…Kyle Orton on the road vs. Michael Turner running on the Bears' stingy defense. And…holy crap…the over/under is 43 1/2?! I'm taking the remains of my 401K, betting the under and pre-ordering The Dark Knight: 2-Disc Edition! Pre-ordering! (Seriously, take the under.) Pick: Chicago

Joe: Who'd have thought at the beginning of this season that this would be one of the most interesting games on the schedule? Lucky for me, I get to watch the Bengals and the Jets. YEAH! Pick: Atlanta

Jacksonville at Denver
Aaron: The Broncos are arguably a favorable ref's call and a missed field goal from being 2-3. Unfortunately, home field trumps perceived suckiness. Pick: Denver

Joe: Speaking of perceived suckiness: The 2008 Jacksonville Jaguars. They're the Washington Redskins of the AFC, only without the wins and with an opportunity to feel smug because the Bills beat them. And yet... Pick: Jacksonville

Philadelphia at San Francisco
Aaron: It appears the seeds of the Eagles annual midseason demise have been sown. Can't say I'm glad to see the Brian Westbrook injury as the cause, though. But, a loss to the 49ers should cheer me up! Pick: San Francisco

Joe: Just because Philly's the clear worst team in the NFC East doesn't mean they're not better than the #2 team in Division 1-AA the NFC West. Pick: Philadelphia

Green Bay at Seattle
Aaron: This one just won't be the same for me without the pre-game "Brett Favre used to play for Mike Holmgren" hype. And, now Matt Hasselbeck is out? That's the fill-in storyline for the week? Always, wantin' the spotlight, those Hasselbecks. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: I'd have gone with the Seahawks if Matt "The Only Tolerable" Hasselbeck were playing. Damn him for lessening the fantasy value of Bobby Engram! Pick: Green Bay

Dallas at Arizona
Aaron: Good to see the Cardinals move out of the NFC East a few years ago hasn't stopped the league from scheduling this annual beatdown. Looks like another "half-assedly contemplate retirement" week for Kurt Warner. Pick: Dallas

Joe: If the Cardinals are going to win the West at 8-8 (and they are), they've gotta get checked before they get too ahead of the curve. Pick: Dallas

New England at San Diego
Aaron: New England hasn't beaten a good team all season, while the Chargers have looked shaky against the Raiders and Dolphins in recent weeks. Yep, I'd give them the Sunday Night prime time slot, too, NBC. Pick: San Diego

Joe: What, you don't want to watch Not Shawne Merriman terrorize Not Tom Brady? Elitist. Pick: San Diego

N.Y. Giants at Cleveland
Aaron: Maybe every nationally televised game should just be "tentative" from week-to-week. Pick: NY Giants

Joe: Remember that comment the next time you bitch about the Giants perceiving a lack of respect. Respect lacker! Pick: NY Giants

The Sure-Thing Suicide Spread:

Cincinnati Bengals at New York Jets (-6)

NY Giants (-7.5) at Cleveland

1 comment:

Maria said...

He did not say "Negro Ewok Warrick Dunn."