Friday, July 11, 2008
This Won't End Well
Today's Entertainment Weekly cover reminded me just how much trouble I'm in for with this upcoming Twilight movie. It's not even opening until December and already it's looming like a giant overdramatic high-school obsession just waiting to swallow my life whole. This is kind of like how I felt during the ramp-up to the Rent movie, only this is worse. At least Rent (besides willing a Pulitzer and all) was intended for a wider audience than simply teenage girls. Yet it seems that 90% of the things that are marketed to teenage girls end up hooking me as well. (As you would know if you ever got caught in a half-hour long conversation about why Lauren's right and Audrina's wrong on The Hills.)
But seriously, this has got all the elements. I'm already pre-disposed to things like vampires, overwrought teenage love affairs, and Cedric Diggory. It took me all of six seconds to get caught up in Harry Potter. And the only sex there was in those books was subtextual!
There are aspects to this movie that could make for a respectable obsession. Catherine Hardwicke is directing, and she made the no-apologies-necessary Thirteen. And Anna Kendrick and Kristen Stewart are real, no bullshit actresses. And yet...anything with both the six-pack dude from Never Back Down and Peter Facinelli in it has to be a little guilt-inducing, right?
Is it too much to hope that the presence of the inexplicably-hated (by me, at least) Elizabeth Reaser will be enough to repel me? My guess is no. Maybe if I keep looking at that magazine cover and note how much Cedric Diggory looks like Tom Cruise as Lestat. Yes, maybe that could do the trick. I need to try something, because I'm not sure how much of a gaywad y'all are going to let me get away with being. I'd rather not push my luck.