Tuesday, July 29, 2008

'Round Springfield XXVI: The Worst of the Worst

I go up and down on Nancy Pelosi. No, the Democratic leadership in the House hasn't done much, but the fact that Washington's been at a stalemate since 2004 isn't her fault, really. And I'm not one who expected, or even really wants, Congress to go through the dog-and-pony show of impeachment proceedings, so we're okay there. But she also runs hot and cold when she speaks -- she sometimes sounds as talking-pointy as I mocked John McCain for being yesterday. This interview with the Huffington Post, however, where she lays the Right's "San Francisco values" meme for what it is, shows why I sometimes kinda like her.

C.H.U.D.'s been keeping me updated on this upcoming Ridley Scott movie called Nottingham (that link's got spoilers in it, though honestly, I can't imagine that's gonna stay unspoiled for long, but buyer beware and all that), which is a re-imagining of the Robin Hood legend centered around the Sheriff of...well, you've figured it out by now. Anyway, Russell Crowe's supposed to star, which will make five movies in nine years for the actor-director pairing. Five mostly crappy pairings, by my count, particularly if Body of Lies is as godawful as the trailer suggests it is.

Towleroad tells me about an upcoming Showtime series set at Studio 54 in the '70s. Following the template of shows like Mad Men and Battlestar Galactica, the flashy setting is going to be the entry to an examination of the changing times and all the hot-button issues that managed to brush past Liza and Halston as they stuffed their noses. Cast this thing correctly and I'll definitely be in.

Finally, Dave Poland brings bad (if unsurprising) tidings about the third Mummy movie, and in the process, he calls director Rob Cohen the worst director working today. Which is is high (low) praise indeed. Which of course begs the question that I put to you now:

Who IS the worst director working today? Who has had the most prolific and consistent output of pure worthless garbage?

Rob Cohen: the third Mummy movie, XXX, The Fast and the Furious, Stealth, The Skulls.
Stephen Sommers: the first two Mummy movies, Van Helsing, Deep Rising (and the upcoming G.I. Joe movies, godDAMNit!).
Brett Ratner: all three Rush Hour movies, The Family Man, X-Men: The Last Stand.
Uwe Boll: House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne.

Or feel free to write in your own alternate choice.


dfleishman said...

Uwe Boll for sure. I actually saw Alone in the Dark, and OH MY GOD.

dan mac said...

Deep Rising is campy and "bad" in all the right ways. It and the first Mummy work as throwback, B movie creature features, defying any attempts to take them seriously. I give Sommers a pass for understanding his genre, and the humor in those films, even though Van Helsing's one of the decade's worst.

Uwe Boll's too easy. Who expected all those video game moves not to suck?

I was prepared to give it to Cohen until I saw Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story in his CV. Who didn't like that movie back in '93?

So I'm delighted to hang this mantle on Brett Ratner, to whom I hope horrible things happen (not really) after he destroyed the X franchise.

Frankly, I'm a little surprised George Lucas didn't make it onto this list.

Anonymous said...

My pick is Ratner. Cohen's bad, but Stealth was kind of hilariously bad and unashamed, whereas Ratner's kind of A-list.