Sunday, June 08, 2008

A Random Sampling...

... of movies that, according to Roger Ebert's three-star review, are inferior to You Don't Mess With The Zohan (Ebert's star rating in parentheses):

Beetlejuice (2)
Blue Velvet (1)
Bottle Rocket (2)
Bring It On (2)
Charlie's Angels (.5)
The Crucible (2)
Dogville (2)
Donnie Darko (2.5)
Edward Scissorhands (2)
Empire Records (1.5)
Fight Club (2)
Friends With Money (2)
Full Metal Jacket (2.5)
Girl, Interrupted (2.5)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2.5)
Heathers (2.5)
The House of Yes (2.5)
I Heart Huckabees (2)
Independence Day (2.5)
Jawbreaker (1.5)
Labyrinth (2)
The Life Aquatic (2.5)
The Long Kiss Goodnight (2.5)
A Mighty Wind (2.5)
Reality Bites (2)
Rent (2.5)
Reservoir Dogs (2.5)
The River Wild (2)
Space Camp (1.5)
The Strangers (1.5)
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2)
The Usual Suspects (1.5)
Velvet Goldmine (2)
Wedding Crashers (2)
Wet Hot American Summer (1)
White Oleander (2.5)

I assure you, whatever issues you may have with any of the above motion pictures, they are not anywhere near as bad as You Don't Mess With The Zohan. ...Uh, so I've heard.


Anonymous said...

A lot of those ARE really terrible, though...

Stephanie said...

Wedding Crashers is a better movie than Wet Hot American Summer? For shame, Roger Ebert...

velvet goldmine said...

I'm changing my handle to A Mighty Wind.

Linda said...

You might think a lot of them are terrible, but they are not bad enough to be considered worse than You Don't Mess With The Zohan. It is the most uninterestingly offensive, unfunny, self-satisfied piece of crap you will ever put an eyeball on.

So I have also heard.

jessica said...

Wow, this is worse than stupid Owen Gleiberman giving O Brother, Where Art Thou? an F when IN THE SAME ISSUE he gave Dude, Where's My Car? a D-.

JA said...

He also seems to give anything that involves Jennifer Lopez's big ass three stars every time. Sometimes, figuring out the rhyme to his reason lay insanity-ward.

I would've lain on boiling cement in a snowsuit while drinking hot cocoa before using Zohan as an A/C excuse, by the way. YES I AM BETTER THAN YOU.

Joe Reid said...

I spent like five minutes trying to think of something you've seen on purpose that's worse, but I really can't. Not even that vagina-stabbing Argento movie. Uncle.

Kamikaze Camel said...

To be honest, there are plenty of movies I'm sure I find better than bonafide classics.

But...yeah... will his next movie involve him portraying a screaming ABBA fan in a movie set in 1975?

Sarah D. Bunting said...

He also hated Zoolander. Dude's gone around the bend.

Anonymous said...

Someone really hates Winona Ryder