[Previously, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4]
This is the last of 'em. Yes, I know it's no longer winter, but I wanted to get us through April and the first quarter of the year. Y'all are on your own for the summer movies, but I trust those will be advertised out to here anyway.
Movie: 88 Minutes (Jon Avnet)
High-Concept Synopsis: Al Pacino has some random allotment of time (I can't quite remember how long...) to figure out who's trying to frame him for murder. Probably has something to do with the serial killer he put away with his testimony. Ben McKenzie, Neal McDonough, Alicia Witt, and Leelee Sobieski co-star.
Who Will Be Seeing It: People who saw all 81 minutes of Phone Booth and thought an extra seven minutes would have perfected it. Pacino fans who have grown fonder of him during his relatively light filmmaking schedule the last few years. Fans of blue-eyed psychopath McDonough.
Who Won't Be Seeing It: Non-fans of Jon Avnet's hackery. Audiences who can already sense the bullshit twist that will no doubt arise at the end of the movie. People who are upset that this movie is actually 108 minutes long because THAT IS BULLSHIT!
Why I'd See It: Don't judge me, but it seems like a decent way to kill a couple hours. Not too taxing on the brain, and who knows, maybe Ben McKenzie falls out of his shirt or something. April 18
Movie: Forgetting Sarah Marshall (Nick Stoller)
High-Concept Synopsis: Kristen Bell breaks up with Jason Segel, then heads off to Hawaii, where he follows her and ends up settling for the far inferior Mila Kunis. The usual Judd Apatow suspects all co-star in some capacity or another.
Who Will Be Seeing It: Fans of the Apatow oeuvre (he's producing, but not writing or directing). The frothing, sun-deprived hordes of Kristen Bell fans. Fans of resort-porn vistas.
Who Won't Be Seeing It: Audiences who are anticipating yet another Apatow Boys Club outing at the expense of the female characters. People who absolutely hate the idea of Mila Kunis as a better catch than Bell. Folks who have grown weary of the omnipresent and punctuation-challenged subway marketing campaign (no, you look fat in those jeans!).
Why I'd See It: The trailer looks funny, I love Jason Segel and Kristen Bell, and not having seen Drillbit Taylor or Walk Hard, I can say the Apatow family has yet to let me down. April 18
Movie: The Life Before Her Eyes (Vadim Perelman)
High-Concept Synopsis: Formerly titled In Bloom, this stars Uma Thurman as a woman still trying to deal with the memory of the school shooting tragedy that shattered her like. Evan Rachel Wood plays Uma's teenage self, with Eva Amurri as her best friend.
Who Will Be Seeing It: Fans of rich subject matter for occasionally brilliant actresses. Fans of Laura Kasischke's novel of the same name. Fans of intense examinations of damaged psyches in the middle of spring.
Who Won't Be Seeing It: Anybody who saw the absolutely appalling and tone-deaf trailer. People who remember that this was supposed to open last year and got pushed back and retitled. Non-fans of Perelman, who has been accused of groping, sexual assault, and directing The House of Sand and Fog.
Why I'd See It: Big-time actress showcases are rare, particularly this time of year, and if Perelman can stay the hell out of the way, it's a good story for Thurman and Wood to play off of. April 18
Movie: Baby Mama (Michael McCullers)
High-Concept Synopsis: Tina Fey can't get pregnant so she decided to rent out a particularly white-trashy Amy Poehler's womb. Sigourney Weaver, Greg Kinnear, Romany Malco, and Maura Tierney co-star.
Who Will Be Seeing It: Fans of Fey and Poehler's smart-lady comedy, even if one of them is playing stupid this time around. People who have been waiting for another great artificial insemination comedy ever since Look Who's Talking. Fans of Sigourney Weaver's latest "one scene as a comically buttoned up executive bitch on wheels" career trend.
Who Won't Be Seeing It: People who think the trailer looks sophomoric (that only works with the fellas). Obama supporters still bitter about that whole "Tina Fey has opinions that differ from my own" thing. Fans nervous about the presence of McCullers, the first-time feature director who previously wrote all three Austin Powers films and Undercover Brother.
Why I'd See It: Their names rhyme with "Tina Fey and Amy Poehler." April 25
Movie: Deception (Marcel Langenegger)
High-Concept Synopsis: Hugh Jackman introduces Ewan McGregor to a mysterious underground sex club and the audience tries to forget they ever saw Eyes Wide Shut. Michelle Williams and Natasha Henstridge co-star.
Who Will Be Seeing It: Sex club aficionados. Hugh Jackman and Ewan McGregor aficionados. Audiences eager to get the memory of Kubrick's last and crappiest film out of their minds.
Who Won't Be Seeing It: Audiences not lured in by the film's crappy title. Audiences not lured in by the film's crappy poster. Prudes, those four curs.
Why I'd See It: Jackman looks to be playing a tremendously wicked character, and when he's having fun, I'm having fun. April 25
Movie: Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo (Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg)
High-Concept Synopsis: En route to Amsterdam, our nonwhite herb-heads get shipped to a detention camp as suspected terrorists. Either they find Doogie Howser or Doogie finds them.
Who Will Be Seeing It: People who enjoyed it well enough last time so why not? Easily impressed liberals eager to stick it to the Bush administration any way they can. Anybody who's seen Neil Patrick Harris anywhere, in anything, in the past five years.
Who Won't Be Seeing It: Moviegoers who found the first movie a bit broad. Moviegoers who find the trailer to this movie WAY broad. Anybody who's read the film's official press release, which includes the phrases "hilarious slacker anti-heroes" and "as 'un-PC' as it gets." New Line deserved to go under for that one alone.
Why I'd See It: NPH, baby. Plus I do recall giggling like an idiot after the first one. April 25