Friday, April 04, 2008

Traintiquette

Man, nothing makes me more self-conscious about living in this city than reading the comments on Gothamist. Every day it's a new social faux-pas I have to worry about making. But I have decided to draw the line at this subway hyper-sensitivity. I step in all the way, I don't hold up the doors, I don't sit in between seats, and I even reach higher up on the pole so that shorter people have room to grab on. And honestly? That's all I'm gonna do. It's fucking Thunderdome on those trains most weekdays, and if I see an available seat, I'm going for it, children and old people be damned. Sorry. It's also not my problem if you don't feel like wedging yourself next to my fat ass on a seat. If I don't think there's room on a bench, I stay standing, but if I got the seat first, it's your move, Highlander. It's every man for himself on those trains, and I'm cool with that, but until the rest of this city starts observing the part of the social contract that says you move to the right while walking past someone, every man for himself it will remain.

2 comments:

Kate said...

Agreed! I'm small but lithe. I can get almost any vacated seat quickly. I actually do give them up to old ladies (not to kids, fuck 'em, they can stand! I did when I was that age! Entitled bastards!) but I figure if she's not strong enough to stand up, she wouldn't have been able to jockey for the seat in the first place, so I'm doing a public service.

Unless I get that look from her. Then she can rot for all I care.

Mollie said...

Oh my Lord YES with the STAY TO THE DAMN RIGHT! I thought everybody got a copy of that page of the Social Contract by the time they finished elementary school. You know, along with "have a napkin handy when you're eating messy food." But obviously not. Still, I keep doing it, because if me and the person coming toward me are going to have to play chicken anyway, at least I know I'm right. (Literally.)