Friday, January 18, 2008

Smooth Joey Apollo's '07 NFL Picks: Conference Championships

Last Week / Overall


Joe: 2-2 (6-2)
Aaron: 4-0 (7-1)

Vs. the Spread

Joe: 2-2 (4-4)
Aaron: 3-1 (4-4)

San Diego at New England(-14)
Joe: I've given in to despair. Thanks a lot, Chargers. Couldn't have just thought of the greater good for once and let the one team with a chance to end this madness win the game. And not only that, you crippled yourselves in the process. Slow clap, morons. The outcome of this NFL season -- which has looked like a fait accompli since at least week 10 -- just doesn't seem to be in doubt anymore. Have I been reduced to hoping Shawne Merriman injures between three and seven Patriots players as he goes down with the ship on Sunday? Yes. Yes, I have.
New England 38, San Diego 17

Aaron: So, it's the team I hate most vs. the team I hate most, too. This is the worst of all worlds for me. Chargers fans - an almost universally clueless lot - are just happy to be there. They've talked themselves into thinking their team has a chance with arguments like "we're a different team than the one the Pats disembowled back in Week #2!" Meanwhile, Pats fans - an almost universally douchey lot - are concerned that the strength of Randy Moss' pimp hand could be a "distraction" for the team. I mean, who cares if he smacked that chick?! Can he and the team put it behind him?! No one wins here. No one.

New England 51, San Diego 3

NY Giants at Green Bay (-7)
Joe: This one looks like more of a contest, but again, the winner earns the right to wait two weeks and lose by double digits to the least likeable group of champions since those fratty assholes in 300. Maybe living here in New York and seeing the heartwarming turn of public opinion in Eli Manning's favor has got me feeling optimistic. Oh, which reminds me, true story: I'm at the Sabres-Rangers game at the Garden last night, and the Buffalo fans three rows back were chatting with the Rangers fans two rows back and made the unfortunate error of saying Eli sucked. Hey, can't blame 'em -- if ever there was a place to feel supported in your hatred of Eli Manning, it was New York City. Until last week. Ranger Fan: "Hey, hey, hey now. Eli took us to da championship game, a'riiight? He doesn't suck." Sabre Fan: "No-no-no-no, sure, he totally did. Credit where credit's due, absolutely. Please don't get the Don of your family to break my legs." Ranger Fan's girlfriend: "Yeah, but he does kinda suck, babe." But he keeps it close.
Green Bay 28, NY Giants 24

Aaron: For the Giants to reach this point, they went down to Tampa and dominated a rested and (I still believe) better team. They then went to Dallas - a even more rested and more better squad - and won again. The Packers, on the other hand, absolutely hand-delivered 14 points to a sh*tty Seattle team in the first four minutes and still beat 'em by 22. Which team is playing better ball against better opponents right now? In the playoffs, sometimes, that's all that matters. Sorry, Joe, but it's a New York City vs. Boston Super Bowl two weeks from Sunday. So much for February being the one month out of the year where sports fans have been able to avoid ESPN's most jizz-tastic two-city scenario.

NY Giants 22, Green Bay 21

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