Thursday, November 22, 2007

Smooth Joey Apollo's '07 NFL Picks: Week 12

Last week:

Joe: 10-6
Aaron: 14-2

Season to date:

Joe 105-55
Aaron 104-56

Green Bay at Detroit

Aaron: After the Packers win, Brett Favre will kill a wild turkey for dinner. Damn, he's gritty. On a related note, Detroit's homeless better hope Brett wears his huntin' glasses. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: Seems the Lions only started losing once I decided to pick them. ...No, you're not rational. Pick: Green Bay

N.Y. Jets at Dallas

Aaron: Wow. It's like Thanksgiving and Christmas all rolled into one for the Cowboys. With games like these, I'll be drinking my holiday beers with the TV off. OK...on "mute". Pick: Dallas

Joe: Terrell Owens had his week of gluttony and having more than his fair share last week. Let Jason Witten have some stuffing this week, dude! Damn! Pick: Dallas

Indianapolis at Atlanta

Aaron: The NFL Network might wanna consider giving me a better reason to call my local cable provider and make unreasonable, unsolicited scheduling suggestions. Pick: Indianapolis

Joe: And thus concludes this week's edition of "Grandpa Aaron Complains That The Thanksgiving Games Aren't As Good As They Was In Aught-Four." Pick: Indianapolis

Buffalo at Jacksonville

Aaron: LOVED the Bills fans booing the Pats last week when they went for it on 4th and 1 a few times. If I may quote Simpsons episode Homer the Clown (2F12): "Stop! Stop! He's already dead! (Sobs)" Pick: Jacksonville

Joe: On the bright side, the 1992 Dallas Cowboys can suck it -- the Bills have a new example for humiliating defeat on national television. Pick: Jacksonville

Houston at Cleveland

Aaron: The Browns have all the makings of a team that's going to upset a division winner on "Wildcard Weekend", build a week's worth of "could they?" hype, then lose to New England by 66. Let's enjoy the ride. Pick: Cleveland

Joe: ...Or else they lose a shocker to "Broadway" Matt Schaub this week. Pick: Houston

Minnesota at N.Y. Giants

Aaron: There's a new watch commerical that calls paid endorser Eli Manning "unstoppable". Eli Manning. "Unstoppable". Like a fuckin' force of nature or something. Eli Manning. Pick: NY Giants

Joe: Maybe he would be if fat-faced Jeremy Shockey weren't dropping every other pass sent his way. Pick: NY Giants

New Orleans at Carolina

Aaron: Two teams that, from week to week, are impossible to get a handle on. Gotta make a call, though, and I think the Saints' 2007 season officially ends. Pick: Carolina

Joe: I think I've finally figured out how to handle the Panthers: they lose. Pick: New Orleans

Oakland at Kansas City

Aaron: The Chiefs will play without Larry Johnson for the third straight game and are currently mired in a three game losing streak. My Raiders have reached the point where I'd probably pick every other team in the league if any of them were playing KC. Pick: Kansas City

Joe: See, the way I see it, the Raiders have been inching ever-closer to win, particularly ever since they've put their eggs in Fargas's basket. It does concern me that, in all my picks that differ from Cam, I'm taking the road team. Pick: Oakland

Seattle at St. Louis

Aaron: The Rams might be the first 2-8 team in NFL history that, it could be argued, controls its own playoff destiny. Run the table and they could sneak in. Can't wait for ESPN's made-for-TV movie of their season if it happens. Pick: St. Louis

Joe: It would be called "Battle of the Bulger." ...I'll show myself out. Pick: Seattle

Tennessee at Cincinnati

Aaron: This will be the game where Titans' QB Vince Young "silences the doubters" for one week. And, if he gets to play against this sh*tty defense again the week after, he might silence them again. Pick: Tennessee

Joe: My inexplicable hatred for Tennessee continues. But at least I get to pick a home team! Pick: Cincinnati

Washington at Tampa Bay

Aaron: The Redskins might be a decent road 'dog to play this weekend against a Bucs team that doesn't even average 20 points/game. Washington's not winning this one outright, though. Pick: Tampa Bay

Joe:Hey, you think Joey Galloway will catch a 50+ yard touchdown for the 34th consecutive game? Pick: Tampa Bay

San Francisco at Arizona

Aaron: Quite the nuclear winter for Bay Area sports fans, no? Well, the San Jose Sharks are in first place, but all I need is a hockey team that breaks my heart. Pick: Arizona

Joe: 4-2 over Ottawa, bitch! Sabres are back! Pick: Arizona

Baltimore at San Diego

Aaron: If the Ravens only had a quarterback and some receivers. As it stands, the Chargers are about due for their once-a-month beatdown of a mediocre team. Pick: San Diego

Joe: I don't even think the Ravens are mediocre anymore. Now that their defense has quit on them (because...that's totally what's happening, come on), they're actively bad. Pick: San Diego

Denver at Chicago

Aaron: Is Jay Cutler still the Broncos' QB? He is? And, he's on the road? Juuuuust checking. Pick: Chicago

Joe: I don't know. Chicago seems to be responding well to Rex Grossman (...I know), but Denver's been playing better as of late, too. Go with the home team, I guess. Pick: Chicago

Philadelphia at New England

Aaron: This one's made even more awesome by the possibility of a start by Eagles back-up QB A.J. Feeley. Can a team score negative points? Pick: New England

Joe: Can the rest of the NFL agree to just take the opening kickoff, run right out the back of the end zone, and take a forfeit rather than give the Pats the satisfaction of another 50+ point win? Please? Pick: New England

Miami at Pittsburgh

Aaron: The Dolphins aren't the Jets. Thank God for that, Steelers fans. Pick: Pittsburgh

Joe: 0-16 Dolphins? What do the rest of us get to toast with for that accomplishment? Pick: Pittsburgh

No comments: