Thursday, November 08, 2007

Conversations I Almost Had (But Am Really Glad I Didn't)

The scene: my neighborhood CVS, on my way home from work. I am purchasing, among other sensible items, a box of Junior Caramels. Because shut up, that's why.

What the CVS checkout guy says: Hey, you know the Milk Duds are on sale for sixty-two cents a box over there.

What I say: Nah, I'll stick with these.

What the CVS checkout guy says: I mean, since they'll both stick to your teeth anyway, right?

What I am tempted to say but do not: See, that's where you're wrong, friend. The Junior Caramel does not stick to your teeth like other caramel-based candies, because it is a softer brand of caramel. In fact, the chief virtue of the Junior Caramel, particularly when contrasted with the Milk Dud, is that it will not end up stuck to your teeth. You're kind of missing the entire point of the Junior Caramel by saying that it's interchangeable with the Milk Dud, especially if you're bringing up the sticking-to-teeth issue, which as I mentioned is the whole entire reason the Junior Caramel exists in the first place. I think you need to check your facts before making a blunder such as this again. God forbid you end up recommending Hershey's chocolate in place of Cadbury's because "chocolate is chocolate." Don't even get me started on that.

Man, I am really glad I decided to shut up and ignore him.

1 comment:

StickyKeys said...

I see your picture, but I don't believe it. I've never seen nor heard of these things. The only thing Junior are mints. MINTS!!