Sunday, October 14, 2007

Smooth Joey Apollo's '07 NFL Picks: Week 6

Last Week's Results:

Aaron: 12-2
Joe: 8-6

Season To Date:

Joe: 52-24
Aaron: 46-30

Cincinnati at Kansas City

Aaron: The Chiefs have looked better recently, while the Bengals are coming off a bye week. In “Psych 101” terms, it’s the “recency effect” vs. “the recently had the week off” effect. No contest. Pick: Cincinnati

Joe: This would probably be a more exciting game if it featured Ickey Woods versus Christian Okoye. As it stands, the Bengals have to beat somebody soon. Pick: Cincinnati

Houston at Jacksonville

Aaron: A loss to the woeful Falcons and a squeak-by win against the woe-fuller Dolphins has officially started the “fraud clock” on the Texans. I sure hope the media still has a few hundred “Houston, We Have a Problem” headlines in them. Pick: Jacksonville

Joe: Once again, I shall try to undermine Jacksonville's success with the power of prediction. Pick: Houston

Miami at Cleveland

Aaron: Sooo…how’s that whole “draft Ted Ginn, Jr. over Brady Quinn” decision working out, Miami? Meanwhile, funeral services for oft-concussed Dolphins QB Trent Green shouldn’t conflict with the opening kickoff. Pick: Cleveland

Joe: Yet another week of the "Derek Anderson: Shitty QB With Awesome Numbers" show. Pick: Cleveland

Minnesota at Chicago

Aaron: Well, on the one hand the Bears upset the Packers (and the traveling “Friends of Favre” phalanx in the media) last Sunday. On the other hand, they didn’t break any of Favre’s bones as I’d hope. Can’t call it a “win”, Chicago. Pick: Chicago

Joe: Save for Adrian Peterson, Minny's one of those "I never knew they were THAT bad" teams. Pick: Chicago

Philadelphia at N.Y. Jets

Aaron: I got burned by the Eagles two weeks ago, when I picked them against the other New York team. I look at this as a do-over for everyone involved. Everyone, Donovan. Don’t make me regret this. Pick: Philadelphia

Joe: Two teams I have absolutely no handle on whatsoever means I'm...picking the home team? Not if Brian Westbrook's back, I'm not. Pick: Philadelphia

St. Louis at Baltimore

Aaron: Pretty sure that the Ravens’ 9-7 win last week set the league back by 35 years. Winning teams who don’t break 10 points should be demoted to the Canadian League for a week. Doug Flutie was like White Jesus there, y’know. Pick: Baltimore

Joe: Hmmm, we're definitely into "it's gotta happen sometime" territory with the winless Rams. But not this week. Pick: Baltimore

Tennessee at Tampa Bay

Aaron: Interesting match-up of two otherwise anonymous teams. And, the previous sentence couldn’t have been typed without “h-o-m-e t-e-a-m”. Pick: Tampa Bay

Joe: It is an interesting matchup. This could be where we see how serious a contender the Bucs are this season. Pick: Tennessee

Washington at Green Bay

Aaron: How many more weeks before we can seriously start contemplating a Brett Favre v. Tom Brady Super Bowl? With the huge P.R. hit the NFL has taken this year, is the fix in for a contrived storyline that would collapse our very solar system? Did you hear that? Peter King just came. Pick: Green Bay

Joe: All that QB talk and not a peep for Jason Campbell? The guy who's going to win this week? Pick: Washington

Carolina at Arizona

Aaron: C’mon…Cards QB Kurt Warner at home on The Lord’s Day? And with his spiky-haired adopted son Brenda in the stands? Just keep that roof open so Jesus can peek in! Pick: Arizona

Joe: I...can't compete with that. Pick: Arizona

New England at Dallas

Aaron: Cowboys fans remain among sport’s most obnoxious, but the ones who talked sh*t after that game in Buffalo last Monday night are the worst of them all. That was a “team win”? That was Cowboys’ football? New England…destroy them. Pick: New England

Joe: Much as I hate the Cowboys after last week (Nick Folk can burn in hell with all the other kickers who have wronged this team over the years), I hope they rock the fuck out of the most hated team in football (probably). Pick: Dallas

Oakland at San Diego

Aaron: The Raiders are a mediocre football team without a fraction of the talent of the Chargers. Keep in mind, though, that six weeks ago, San Diego was printing Super Bowl tickets. Today, they’re settling for a week-long parade after vanquishing the Raiders. Pick: San Diego

Joe: "Keep in mind, though"? Oh, Cam. How the mighty have...remained fallen. Pick: San Diego

New Orleans at Seattle

Aaron: The Saints are going to sneak up on someone and bite ‘em on the ass. Drew Brees will put up a 400-yard game out of nowhere and Reggie Bush will score a couple of spectacular touchdowns. On the road in one of the league’s toughest places for a visiting team? Nope. But, I need to close the gap with Joe. Hedging…hedging… Pick: Seattle

Joe: Well the Saints certainly won't do anything now that you've jinxed them. Pick: Seattle

N.Y. Giants at Atlanta

Aaron: Eli Manning’s unique brand of vanilla…in the heart of Chocolate City! Pick: New York Giants

Joe: It's six weeks too late, but I still think visiting QBs should adopt a puppy from an Atlanta animal shelter the day before the game. Just because. Pick: Atlanta

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