Movie: Hostel (2005)
Director: Eli Roth
...Who Went On To Make: Uh...Hostel, Part II
First Impressions: Huh. Well this wasn't how I thought this horror-movie-appreciation feature was going to go. I didn't like this movie. There were some good parts, not that the movie was interested in getting to them all that quickly, but as a whole, it just felt very unsatisfying. The dominant impression I got was one of Eli Roth rushing like hell to get this movie made and not taking the time to make it all work. Motivations are tacked-on, big setpieces are over too quickly for that feeling of unbearable tension that you need to have in this kind of movie. It's weird, because this is a movie that takes forever to get going, and yet by the time it's over it still felt way too rushed. Waste the first half of the movie following the guys catting around Europe if you want to, but for God's sake don't make that part boring! The weird misogyny is another story. I don't even mean the conveniently topless women at every turn -- that had more of a whiff of parody (cheaply exploitative parody as it was). I'm talking about having the only female characters in the movie being either deceitful bitches, helpless damsels, or, in one case, too vain to go on living. I don't even think this stuff was intentional, which makes it more bothersome. In a better movie, I would have easily forgiven it. This isn't that movie.
Notable Edits: I watched it on Showtime, so blissfully: none.
Scary Or Funny? Well it ain't funny. There are some parts that are tense and there are other parts that are gross, so while I wasn't ever quite terrified, I'd definitely label it "scary."
Best Killing? None of the best parts were killings, but the two most memorable (and best) scenes were the chainsaw sequence (imaginative, disgusting, and mean) and the eyeball sequence (SO gross, so intense).
Future Airings: Wednesday 2:45 AM (Showtime Next); Sunday 1:10 AM (Showtime Beyond)
Previously: Children of the Corn