First of all, you could have knocked me over with a feather with the news that Don Imus (left) was still alive. I always figured that guy on MSNBC at such an ungodly hour was some sort of mummified corpse used for decoration, much in the vein of a cigar store Indian.
But now that Imus has gotten himself into hot water over his racist comments about the Rutgers women's basketball team, not only do I know that he's still alive, but the media frenzy over said comments has also shed light on one of the more frustrating grammatical questions of the internet age: the correct pluralization of the word "ho." At last! AP style has finally weighed in and made it easier for every writer reviewing a Lil' Kim album or the new season of VH1's Flavor of Love: Charm School.
So now we all know: it's not "hoes" (that's still reserved for the province of gardening in the 1920s) and it's not "ho's" (that's what you use when talking about objects -- hot pants, lack of self-esteem, Johns -- that belong to the ho in question). The correct spelling is indeed "hos." And while it may cause some confusion with the word "hoss" -- to the point where my Mom asked at Easter brunch if I'd heard about Imus calling these women "nappy-headed hosses," which, knowing Imus, and knowing the prevailing stereotype about women basketball players, seemed as plausible an insult as any -- it's good to know we have a standard to go by.
So thank you, Don Imus! The re-animation of your corpse has at least done some good for the universe.