QUESTION: If your life is a movie, what songs are on the soundtrack?
Here's how it works:
1. Open iTunes
2. Put it on shuffle and press play
3. For every question, type the song that's playing
4. Make up a Title and choose your Cast
Title: O Narrative Cohesion, Where Art Thou?
Greg Grunberg (as Me)
Billy Crudup (as The First Love)
Sara Ramirez (as the Pot Princess of
Justin Timberlake (as Dancer #4)
Lauren Ambrose (as my Shotgun Bride)
and Winona Ryder (as the chief of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police)
Opening Credits: "Any Colour You Like" by Pink Floyd
Trippy, psychedelic, pretentiously Canadian in its spelling, and completely instrumental, which I like for a credits sequence. Dazzle as the fractal geometry whizzes past your senses and the cast and crew shimmer and shine on like crazy diamonds. Here's hoping it's more like a winking send-up of the retro high-school culture I experienced and less like Ashton Kutcher's scenes in Bobby.
Waking Up: "
Hee. Hee hee. As an alarm clock ringtone, this one ain't bad. This song makes me think my morning would be frantic, filled with toast shooting out of toasters with unrealistic propulsion. And, of course, taken literally, it doesn't really bode well for the rest of my day.
First Day At School: "Thanks a Lot" by Third Eye Blind
That's interesting, considering the only reason I even have this song is because of a photo montage I was given on my last day of college. Things continue to remain on the ironic tip.
Falling In Love: "Believe" by Flickerstick
Dude, if I ever fell in love to the sounds of a Flickerstick song, I'm not sure what I'd do with myself. That's, like, the greatest thing I can think of.
Fight Song: "Voices Carry" by Til Tuesday
Okay, clearly by "fight," they mean a relationship fight, or else this would be a strange fight indeed. Anyway, clearly my beloved, with whom I share an unbreakable connection to drunken
Breaking Up: "Surrounded" by Chantal Kreviazuk
Oh, it's a sad breakup, indeed. What happened to all the irony, y'all?
Prom: "Candle in the Wind" by Elton John
Theeeeeeeere it is. Hee. And, by the way, it is most certainly NOT the faked-up Princess Diana lyrics version, and I'm actually really insulted that you felt you had to ask.
Life: "The Jump Off" by Lil' Kim
So, wait, my entire life is summed up by this one song? Or is this just the song that plays during my "ordinary life before the shit hits the fan" scenes? That sounds better. And apparently my ordinary life consists of the world's trashiest dance party. As it should be.
Mental Breakdown: "Hips Don't Lie" by Shakira
Totally. The music says "cheerful belly dance," while my mental acuity says "gone drinkin'."
Driving: "Wheat Kings" by The Tragically Hip
Well, it's a long drive. Maybe a cross-country drive. A cross-
Flashback: "Feel Good Inc." by Gorrilaz
Well this just makes no sense at all. Unless...unless my flashbacks are back to my ordinary life living in the world's trashiest dance party? That'll do.
Wedding: "Fast As You Can" by Fiona Apple
It's a shotgun wedding! Not sure how that works, in my circumstances, but I'm sure it has something to do with the drug dealers in Vancouver and my need to make some quick cash so the world's trashiest dance party doesn't go under.
Birth of Child: "Pretty Good Year" by Tori Amos
Aw. Our hero (me) gets some respite with a newborn miracle baby. Hiding out from the Canadian Mounties who are hunting me down for my sweet, sweet bricks of hash, I instead get high on babies. No, not like that!
Oh yeah. Everyone's high during the final battle. Most definitely.
Death Scene: "The Last Song" by All-American Rejects
No, really. No! Really! My iTunes shuffle skills are AWESOME.
Funeral Song: "Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac
The globe-trotting, pot-dealing, international criminal, baby-stealer (yeah, I was going to mention that) and dance club operator gets his appropriate send-off. No one has to feel too sad when Stevie Nicks is warbling angelically.
End Credit: "Beer" by Reel Big Fish
Well now this movie just doesn't make any sense at all, does it?
If you just read this, that means I tagged you. Do it!