Friday, December 08, 2006

As I Seriously Question My Childhood

Okay, this is basically an IM conversation, verbatim, but I'm only posting it because I'm asking for your help. If you have any idea what I'm talking about and can shed some light on things, please do comment:

Joe: Hey Tara, feel like answering the goofiest question you've ever answered?
Tara: Of course.
Joe: Okay, you know that kid's song about "such-and-such, sittin' in a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g?"
Tara: Yes. "First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes [x] with a baby carriage."
Joe: Right. When you were a kid, was there a verse after "baby in a baby carriage"?
Tara: No.
Joe: Shit. Okay. Because apparently only at my school, that was followed by "Suckin' his thumb, wettin' his pants, doing the [hula-hula? hoochie-coochie? I can't remember] dance."
Tara: What? That makes no sense.
Joe: And I wanted to refer to that second verse in the recap, but I looked it up and no one else apparently knows about that second verse.
Tara: No. I feel you made that up.
Joe: Babies do the hoochie-coochie dance! What?
Tara: I reject your childhood memories.
Joe: It's as valid as the "what's your boyfriend's first name" addendum to the Happy Birthday song!
Tara: The what?!
Tara: Where did you grow up, on the moon?
Joe: Where DID I grow up?
Tara: Are you an alien sent here to blend in but supplied with bad information?
Joe: I'm suddenly very concerned. Was I placed among the rest of you by monks?
Tara: Yes, WERE YOU?
Joe: WHO AM I??
Joe: I will CUT MY ARMS UNTIL THEY BLEED HUMAN BLOOD! And then run away with the blonde vampire, uh...Pike.
Tara: That's not you, that's your sis...BROTHER.
Joe: This is so fucked up.

Okay, aside from my bi-weekly delving into Buffy-related I the crazy one here? Tara IS Canadian, after all. Does nobody recall the "suckin' his thumb, wettin' his pants" verse of the K-I-S-S-I-N-G song? No one? Am I just making shit up entirely? Was it just my East Aurora cousins fucking with me? At this point, it's not even about the recaps. I just need to know I didn't grow up on the weirdest Amish farm in America.


Michelle said...

You're not any crazier than I am. I recall the Cleveland version being something about the "naked hula" dance.

OleNelson said...

I also recall a [different] second verse. Ours was, "Something, something, something... Get out the diapers/Get out the crib/X and Y just had twins!" Or something like that.

Jay said...

I'm certifiable, but I used to sing 'hula-hula'. In another, related note, the object of the serenade in our version was also in the baby carriage. It was another layer of derision on top of daring to be nice to icky girls.

Kristin said...

Not only did we sing the 2nd "Suckin' his thumb, Wettin' his pants, Tryin' to do the hula dance" verse -and it was ALWAYS the hula dance- we had a THIRD verse that was something like "That's not it, that's not all, [something something] volley ball!" Yeah, I don't know either. This was in New Jersey if that explains anything. And it might.

Anonymous said...

In the frozen tundra of Upper Michigan, we sang, "Suckin' his thumb, peein' his pants, doin' the baby hula dance."

Joe R. said...

This is officially my favorite blog post ever. And clearly my craziest notion was thinking it could have been "hoochie-coochie dance." I've been corrupted in my later years by two seasons of Carnivale, it would seem.

Keep 'em coming!

Rene said...

Hula Hula dance here too...we didn't always sing the second verse, but if we did, that was it...

bethness said...

Our second verse, in my little corner of SoCal, was always the "That's not all, that's not all, now their baby's playing basketball/drinking alcohol," depending on how daring you felt.

mathan said...

Man, I clearly had the most deprived childhood ever. I've got no memories of any second verse from my triple digit days in Tucson.

Or possibly a tragic event occurred which caused me to block out not only the event but the entire second and third verses.

Sticky Keys said...

Just couldn't keep your bearings in that tree, huh Mathan?

It happens to the best of us.

We sang all the verses and I'm from Nebraska. It was "baby-hula" (though we often said hoochie coochie, and why not, it's very fun to say!) and "volleyball" which upgraded into "alcohol".

I'm more intrigued about these Happy Birthday additions.

And of course who could forget the lovely "Say say my playmate" that turned into "Say say my enemy". There's also a very rare version entitled "Say say my prostitute" and it was very risque though I can't remember how it went. All I know is that wasn't a rainbow we were sliding down...

Anonymous said...

It was the "hula hula" dance that baby was doing here in Southern Connecticut.

lex in london said...

We said "hoochie-coochie dance" in South-Western Ontario!

bri c. said...

Joe I was in the same classroom as you and I would have never remembered the actual words but upon hearing it I know it had to exist but i blocked it out until just then.

Trey said...

In Lansing, we would do "That's not all, that's not all/The baby's drinking alcohol" as the third verse, with the hula dance being part of an optional fourth verse to which I never really knew the lyrics. I have to listen to some TLC now.

Anonymous said...

Regarding Kristin's "third verse" comment: I'm also from NJ, and we had the "hula-hula dance" part, followed by something like "Not too big, not too small, just the size of a bowling ball."

IDriveATruck said...

Well, shit. I was all set to blast you for being either crazy and/or Amish because I've never heard of those verses. But after reading the comments I suddenly have the notion to go churn butter and shoe the horses. Sticky had hooker songs in her childhood and she's from Nebraska for goodness sake!

Dammit I hate it when that happens.

mathan said...

Thank you idriveastick! I think you and I need to go off and sing our simple one verse version, which everyone agrees upon, rather than hang out in this crazy place with random verses.

I mean really, this song has grown so long how did any of you have time to actually play during recess?

Jenn said...

Down in Florida, we had the hoochie-coochie dance verse...we had lots of other songs that were much, MUCH more inappropriate by the way.

Alex said...

For me, the second verse was "that's not all, that's not all, the baby's drinking alcohol". We never did the hula-hula dance one, though!

Linda said...

"Hula hula dance," I think. I was in Delaware, unfortunately. Frankly, my first reaction was "hoochie coochie dance," but now that you mention it, that would be depraved, and it was probably "hula hula."

bri c. said...

By the way, congrats Joe, the article in the buffalo news was great ( I was shocked when I opened it up and saw you in full color on the inset, very cool

Joe R. said...

Thanks, dude! It turned out pretty well. And I'm glad to see you have at least some memory of weird extra verses to that song. I'd have been really freaked out if you'd have been like "You're nuts, buddy."

Anonymous said...

One (compound) word.


(where am I from?)

Marie said...

we did the second verse, too - hula hula dance-style and I grew up in central PA right by the actual Amish people.

Anonymous said...

In the Pittsburgh area, the baby did the hula dance.
And thank to the person who wrote about "Say, say my enemy..." Now it is in my head.
"Say, say, my enemy, come out and fight with me/bring me your dragons three/climb up my poison tree/slide down my gutter/into my dungeon door/and we'll be enemies/for ever MORE, MORE, SHUT THE DOOR!"
And there was a response verse after that about the dragon having the flu.

Joe R. said...


Oh my God! Tara mentioned that too (I think). Are you from Regina?

NYOne said...

In eastern CT, we had the boy of the equation IN the baby carriage. And definitely doing the hula-hula dance.
Ok, now I need someone to post the original words to Say say my playmate (except I always thought it was see, see). I know not this Bunnyhug of which you speak, but I would like to mention that I found a peanut last night.

Joe R. said...

Oh man, do NOT start.

Anonymous said...

Yeah I am in NJ and we had the hula hula dance. Then it got completely nonsensical.

Not too big
Not to small
Just about the size of
a basketball

Two weeks later
Open the door
See them kissing
on the floor.

I don't know.

Instigatrix said...

I grew up in Queens, NY, and we also had that second verse:

Suckin' on a bottle
Peein' in his pants
And doin' the hula-hula dance

Don't remember any third or fourth verses, though.

Anonymous said...

Indeed, the West Seneca version included the hula-hula dance. And "what's your boyfriend's first name" too.

Anonymous said...

As far as I recall from my Lancaster NY childhood, we did the hula hula dance and the what's your boyfriend's first name.

Joe R. said...

Not only did my family do "what's your boyfriend's first name," we also did the little-known b-side Catholic rarity third verse, "May the dear Lord bless you." Beat it!

mathan said...

I honestly feel like I grew up in a 1950's bomb shelter, because I've never heard any of the "k-i-s-s-i-n-g" verses nor any of the "Happy Birthday" verses. Don't even get my started on my ignorance to this "say, say" thing.

I'm convinced it's an East Coast thing.

jam said...

Ok, in our little Southern corner of the world, it was the first verse, with the tree and the k-i-s-s-i-n-g, THEN the open the door, kissing on the floor verse, then the baby carriage verse. Only it wasn't "here comes baby in a baby carriage," it was "here comes X with a baby carriage."

I've never heard of this "say, say" thing -- maybe that's a NE thing?

Sars said...

I've heard of "Say Say." It's no "Miss Lucy" but it was still pretty crucial.

Clevegal42 said...

In my neck of the Cleveland jungle, it was "doing the baby hula dance". Also, in "Say say my enemey", we brought weapons, not dragons, and slid into a toilet bowl. We had a pretty rough neighborhood growing up in the burbs.

jessica said...

Late to the party, per usual.

I grew up in Central NY and it was IN a baby carriage doing a hoochie-koochie dance. I know not this "say say" thing nor any alternate Happy Birthday verses, but I do know that Miss Susie had a steamboat and the steamboat had a bell.

Tipsy McSwiggans said...

{Central New York - 30 second rebuttal}
Well Tim let me just say this about that...
1. Hula Hula Dance - I firmly believe in its future value to our nation
2. Say Say - I have no recollection of such an event
3. It's well known that Miss Suzy went to heaven the steamboat went to hell-o operator
4. You look like a monkey... and you smell like one too
Thank you

mathan said...


Miss Suzy did indeed have a steamboat.

Now I can get a get some sleep at night.