"Only yesterday boys and girls spoke of embracing and kissing (necking) as getting to first base. Second base was deep kissing, plus groping and fondling this and that. Third base was oral sex. Home plate was going all the way. That was yesterday. Here in the year 2000 we can forget about necking. Today's girls and boys have never heard of anything that dainty. Today's first base is deep kissing, now known as tonsil hockey, plus groping and fondling this and that. Second base is oral sex. Third base is going all the way. Home plate is learning each other's names."
Not to be confused with "rim-job," which, as Tom Wolfe will gladly tell you, is referred today as "batting practice." The man just drives me crazy, no more so than when he's tut-tutting about how kids today are such fucking sluts, all the while salivating over every detail. Welcome to the experience of reading I Am Charlotte Simmons. Also, way to make the four bases sex analogy seem even more outdated and lame. But that's just more of the classic Wolfe pose as the bemused outsider, as insincere an approach to his "new journalism" as I can imagine.
For what seems like the billionth time, Shut up Tom Wolfe! Take your "tonsil hockey" to someone who cares.