Tuesday, August 16, 2005

The Theme Tonight Is "Pathetic"

For starters, I don’t know if I’m the only person who watches The Real World anymore, but tonight’s episode was a doozy. I’m not going into the specifics of Wes – the frat-bred, self-styled, rather homely, would-be player – trying to get roomie Johanna jealous, a plan that failed spectacularly. Suffice it to say, Wes has attained that rarefied air of The Most Pathetic Real Worlders of All Time. He joins Hawaii Matt, Chicago Kyle, San Diego Frankie, and Montana’s boyfriend Vaj. Thank you, Wes. Your obliviousness and creepily competitive outlook on dating entertains us all!

In other news, if anybody reading this would be interested in joining a Fantasy Football league through Low Res, please reply in the comments. This would be for Internet pride, not money, but it’s a great way to follow the NFL season. If we get enough player, I’ll set up a Yahoo league.

Finally, I’ll be sojourning to Syracuse this weekend to visit friends, so maybe no updating until mid-week next week. Among other things, I will be celebrating my birthday! That’s right. One year older. None the wiser. If I were a different kind of Internet writer, here’s where I’d be posting a link to my Amazon wish list.

Well would you look at that. Did you see what I did there? You’re not sure if I’m kidding or I’m serious, aren’t you? I trust you’ll make the right decision.

10 comments:

Carlie said...

are you having a Buffalo rendition of the Bday Celebration? (hint hint)

huh, I was gonna write something else. too tired.

Hacksaw J.A.M. Duggan said...

105 items on your wish list? Jesus Christ, Gloomchen, let's just hold a full-fledged "Joe Aid" cable special for ya.

And what's with the 1991 Sports Almanacs? Are you planning to travel back in time and give it to your younger version like some kind of Bizarro Biff Tannen?

BTW, way to run the gamut of "must have" to "thinking about it". What, no category for "I'll be re-gifting this item for a friend"?

I could go on...

(Down for Fantasy Foosball (sic) if you are...)

Joe R. said...

I don't think I'm really doing much, birthday-wise. And, trust me, that's fine by me. The Syracuse thing was more flukey if anything that it fell on my birthday - I'd been trying to plan it all summer, pretty much, and it got pushed back to now.

I mean . . . I'm 25. Who cares, right? Now if I could only have My Super Sweet Sixteen to do over again . . .

Joe R. said...

re: Hacksaw . . .

1) True story - I used to own all those damn sports almanacs and became slightly savant-like about sports trivia as a result. Now I'm older, Almanac-less, and losing my swing when it comes to the trivia. Thus, the nostalgiac pull of the almanacs.

2) Joe Aid is actually the name of my knockoff powdered beverage mix that's about to take the nation by storm. If you thought the Kool-Aid Man was funny, you aint seen me dressed up like a refreshing glass of Blue Raspberry Lemonade.

3) You just ruined the surprise of me re-gifting Laguna Beach season 1 to you and yours. Way to Grinch on Jalen's Christmas. God. Worst dad ever!

mathan said...

Reading your Real World touchstones made me realzie how out of touch I am with that show; I had no idea who you were talking about.

I'm more familar with Alfalfa, Spanky, Buckwheat and Darla from The Real World: 1922

No, wait, those were all Little Rascals. Nevermind.

Joe R. said...

"When people stop being polite, and start getting . . . adorable!"

We also would have accepted "The Real World: Riverdale" in which Betty and Veronica make out in the hot tub, while Archie contracts herpes and Jughead never shows up to work on time.

Tipsy McSwiggans said...

what a gift-loving whore

Jalen Cameron said...

You're officially down to 104 gifts. Thank God for piggy bank that unscrew and open at the bottom.

Joe R. said...

Ladies and gentlemen, the position of Joe's New Best Friend has been filled.

Steve Coogan said...

Wha...Wha...When did *I* get fired?