Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Other People Can Be Funny Two

Why wait for me to think of something good to write? These guys have that covered already:

Fametracker’s Wing Chun arrives at a lot of the same conclusions that I did about Tom Wilkinson’s accent in Batman Begins. She doesn’t specifically say “Dan Hedaya,” but you can tell she was thinking it. Either way, it doesn’t deter her from bestowing Hey! It’s That Guy! status on the former Full Monty star.

It’s about a week late, but cruise on over to Tomato Nation and read Sarah’s latest Girls’ Bike Club. Then try and keep from tumbling the word “folksily” around in your mouth like an errant grape.

Inside Pulse’s Jeff Fernandez continues to be one of the good ones. This week he ruminates on Spin listmaking, and has even more fun with the Google image search than I do.

Finally, we’ve all been hearing Tom Cruise go on and on about how Scientology is super-fun neato and such. Specifically, Tom’s been saying that people all over the world want to know more about L. Ron Hubbard’s secret club. Which is true, at least for me. Luckily, Salon.com is running a four part series on the ins and outs of Scientology. Everything you wanted to know but were afraid to ask Tom Cruise since he’d probably lecture you about Ritalin for an hour and a half and then call you “glib.” Anyhoo, it’s a totally worthy read. Part one. Part two.

Edit: Seriously, you guys. Read the Salon articles. So much good and eye-opening stuff about Scientology.

On Scientology's otherworldly creation myth:

The central creation story, according to Melton, Bartchy, Kent and the former member, is this: About 75 million years ago, a nefarious intergalactic warlord
called Xenu rounded up the inhabitants of numerous planets, killed them, and brought them to Earth, then set off a chain reaction of cataclysmic volcanoes (the volcano pictured on the "Dianetics" cover was Hubbard's favorite symbol for the notion of breakthrough and self-actualization), which dispersed their thetans into the atmosphere. These thetans now fester inside the bodies of all humans. They are to be located in specific body parts and summoned out.

On the creation of traumatic sesnory impressions called "engrams":

The most significant engrams, the theory holds, are formed prenatally, starting with the moment of conception. Any words overheard in an "unconscious" state, even pleasant ones, will become a particularly tenacious and unpredictable part of the engram, which is why you must never ever speak to a woman who has, for example, just fallen down in the street. Help her up, but don't say a word! She might be pregnant!


And the writers are mad funny, too. Deal with the 30-second ad you have to watch and read them.

3 comments:

Tipsy McSwiggans said...

"In the high OT levels one supposedly gains the skills to master one's universe.

. . . So what L.Ron Hubbard is saying is that He-Man was a scientologist? . . .

Joe R. said...

Well, he's got the ambiguous sexuality part down . . .

Tipsy McSwiggans said...

And Tom Cruise has the Power of Grey Skull...