Okay, so my apologies first off to anyone who doesn't get this nor cares one iota about inside jokes between Internet writers. Scroll on past, and I promise I'll have something more interesting tomorrow.
Joe Movies: so when do you want to do this?
Cam’ron: Joe Reid...you're on the clock
Joe Movies: ohhhh shit
Joe Movies: okay well, first of all I make a motion
Cam’ron: motion away
Joe Movies: we have to split custody of Mathan
Joe Movies: maybe you get TV Mathan and I get Music Mathan or something
Cam’ron: there's a half n' half mathan joke i wanna use...
Cam’ron: inappropriate, i think
Joe Movies: hey, you're editing this thing
Joe Movies: Comics Mathan, well . . . we can keep him in the treehouse and visit him
Joe Movies: okay so the rules are . . .
Cam’ron: You pick first...
Cam’ron: can't pick a 411 or movies guy
Cam’ron: while i can’t use my first pick on IP or music guy
Joe Movies: just on the first pick?
Joe Movies: well then I pick the bedrock of my new Music section . . . Jeff Fernandez
Joe Movies: the world needs obscure methods of linking to other writers, after all
Cam’ron: you've broken up the minority report
Joe Movies: you made the rules, you live by 'em
Joe Movies: hey, I know of a certain Latina television "star" who could fill in should you pick her
Joe Movies: your collagen budget would triple, but . . .
Cam’ron: might've woke jalen up on that one
Joe Movies: heh
Joe Movies: okay, you deliberate your pick while i stew on the fact that these 411 bastards haven't asked me to do Movies Fact or Fiction yet
Cam’ron: i firmly believe that every pop culture website should have a strong movies zone and with that in mind, i'm taking Abe Hayhurst number one
Joe Movies: side note: the best part of owning a Simpsons Season 4 DVD is the veritable smorgasboard of Grandpa quotes I've stockpiled for linking to Leonard
Cam’ron: ah, but now that he's writing for me, i think i'll clue him in to your little demented parlor game
Joe Movies: so, okay, my turn; question: will we have to have wrestling zones on our new sites?
Cam’ron: sadly, yes...
Joe Movies: okay, well in that case I'm picking the estimable J.D. Dunn; a talented wrestling writer! no lie! he also kicked ass reviewing horror flicks for the movies zone. I've got me a Bo Jackson-style double threat!
Cam’ron: hey, a wrestling/horror movie writer...smell those hits!
Joe Movies: hey!
Joe Movies: niches are important!
Cam’ron: gimmie Jacob Ziegler...
Cam’ron: movie domination is important
Joe Movies: fucker
Cam’ron: your movie zone sucks
Cam’ron: and that's WITH you
Joe Movies: Cam's weekly movie review count: 122; Joe's: 1
Cam’ron: hey...there's still plenty of high quality movie guys out there
Joe Movies: no bother. i'll just pick an equally talented writer from the IP Movie Zone
Joe Movies: shit
Joe Movies: it's probably too high in the draft to pick Revenge of the Sith Reviewer #8, huh?Cam’ron: dude
Cam’ron: surprisingly, he's still out there...
Joe Movies: my Movies Zone is decimated - time to wreck your shit music zone style!
Joe Movies: I pick . . . Gloomchen
Cam’ron: desperation pick
Joe Movies: the only writer alive who could give you chase in a popularity contest
Cam’ron: bah...wait until everyone finds out that she's really a man
Joe Movies: oh you can't sucker me into making the "she's not?" joke
Joe Movies: i'm far too respectable for that
Cam’ron: how can i use any of this?
Cam’ron: i'm dyin' out here
Joe Movies: nice job you had once
Cam’ron: geez...two picks for me...two 411 guys...
Cam’ron: nice job i had once
Joe Movies: Mel Kiper is ripping you on ESPN by the way
Cam’ron: yeah...while he's creaming with effusive praise over the monday double header of Joe Reid and JD Dunn...
Joe Movies: Michael irvin won't shut up about us
Cam’ron: i'm gonna hate myself in the morning...scott keith, please
Joe Movies: !!
Joe Movies: oh i didn't think I'd win this early
Cam’ron: widro says that the readers will follow the wrestling flagship guys
Joe Movies: Cam's new site: DUD
Cam’ron: your PPV recaps will be links to my site
Joe Movies: just promise me to have several Scott versus Cam columns on the subject of Oz
Joe Movies: he can discuss the finer points of the Beecher-Vern dynamic while you make Method Man jokes
Cam’ron: hey, now...published author = literary credibility...i'm hoping he can use some pull to get Maya Angelou to do a guest spot...
Cam’ron: "Froot Loops..."
Joe Movies: "swimming in the frothy mother sea of milk"
Joe Movies: okay my pick
Joe Movies: well your last pick will get the fan forums rocking . . . I'll go with Mike Huckaby. He publishes, like, one column every leap year, but the staff forums will be a blast
Joe Movies: as an added bonus, he can put together some cool feature projects like the 411 100 which your site can steadfastly refuse to rip off
Cam’ron: and you only had to sell your soul by drafting someone who's your complete individual and spirtual opposite to get him!
Cam’ron: good show!!!
Joe Movies: what? i luurrrrrve the Scotsmanality style!
Joe Movies: it touches the pissy fifteen year old inside us all
Cam’ron: well, if YOU'RE going to draft against type, then I'm taking Mitch Michaels, because the "M" is for "morality"!
Cam’ron: he will now leave the room and pray for your souls
Joe Movies: the other "M," by the way, stands for "merciful Zeus, you found someone who hates Lil' Kim more than you do!"
Cam’ron: i think he hates all Black people
Cam’ron: which, can only lead to hilarity!
Joe Movies: note: Mitch Michaels refuses to endorse the concept of Zeus, whether merciful or otherwise
Cam’ron: we're the original odd couple!
Joe Movies: heh, ya see, white people have names like *Mitch*; and black people have names like *Aaron*
Cam’ron: it's true! it's true! you're SO lame!
Joe Movies: well, if you insist on basing your picks on alliteration, I have no choice but to pick . . . Michael Melchor
Joe Movies: his name is currently on the 411 Music page 97 times
Cam’ron: if wanted alliteration, Matthew Michael and Michaelangelo McCullar were *right there*
Joe Movies: oh no - no pseudonyms
Cam’ron: oh, right...that's gloomchen's policy too
Joe Movies: I'm holding that slot open for Yayowonder
Cam’ron: i thought he died...
Joe Movies: of embarassment
Joe Movies: damn, that was cold - i hereby apologize to everyone who has ever existed ever
Cam’ron: well, if your intention was to hurt Yayo's feelings...mission accomplished
Joe Movies: i'm sorry, Yayo!
Joe Movies: you always were gracious in defeat in the 411/IP fantasy football league!
Joe Movies: unlike *some* people
Joe Movies: *ahem*
Cam’ron: here we go...
Cam’ron: didn't i get beat by the feet of white running back...?
Cam’ron: in a week when my white wide receiver struggled?
Joe Movies: next year my team's gonna be whiter than Milwaukee in January
Joe Movies: then we'll see who's the best at football
Cam’ron: speaking of the best...i'm taking IP TV Editor Murtz Jaffer with *my* next pick...
Cam’ron: two words: celebrity connections!
Joe Movies: here we go . . .
Joe Movies: do the laws of eminent domain cover all the "celebrities" whose asses his nose is currently embedded in?
Cam’ron: I am SO telling Apprentice Nick...
Joe Movies: just don't tell Survivor Jessie - she might write me an angry e-mail that could run five sentences or more
Cam’ron: Is "Besos" a sentence?
Joe Movies: we're letting her think it is
Cam’ron: and she should really do that upside down/right side up exclamation points thingie for that Hispanic text authenticity
Cam’ron: that or stop shaving
Joe Movies: my turn!
Joe Movies: i'll hold off on drafting Omarossa as a reality TV revenge pick . . . for now
Joe Movies: I need to shore up my movies section so I'll go with Will Helm - watcher of all movies that are crappy
Cam’ron: nice...i like how you're forced to draft the guys that you don't even link in the happy hour...and you link *everybody*!
Cam’ron: even Rutherford!
Joe Movies: i do not!
Joe Movies: of the seventeen 411 movie writers who post titty pictures in their columns I generally don't link to Scott
Cam’ron: well...you'll not likely have another roast in your honor, mr. ingrate
Joe Movies: hey, i don't see *your* Internet compatriots making vague tributes about how they've never heard of you before
Cam’ron: my next pick is going to actually be from IP Music...
Joe Movies: wha??
Cam’ron: I'll take Mike Eagle, who's like 411's Phil Watts without all the Samuel L. Jackson VIRTUAL YELLING at me.
Joe Movies: who needs all that anger on the Internet?
Joe Movies: on a completely different topic, I select Evocator Manes!
Cam’ron: oh, come on...don't they have to have written something in six months...and/or written something good in six years?
Joe Movies: hey, up until the other day I'd thought Mitch Michaels was an urban legend
Cam’ron: touche....although, I think Mitch is just one of Michael Melchor's many aliases
Joe Movies: so what's Matthew Michael's excuse?
Cam’ron: dude...ixnay on the iscuiti-Bay
Joe Movies: i have to say, without that ethnic last name, I could totally cast him in a wide variety of leading man roles
Cam’ron: yeah, yeah...shannon elizabeth had similar aspirations...trust me, that two first name thing won't get you any further than 'net writer...trust me
Joe Movies: speaking of which . . . I draft Shannon Elizabeth!
Joe Movies: kidding
Joe Movies: your turn anyway
Cam’ron: Hmmm... Ziegler and Hayhurst, Scooter Keith, Mitch Michaels, Murtz from TV and Mike Eagle
Cam’ron: I win in movies by default
Cam’ron: my music is an interesting dichotomy
Joe Movies: between You and Not You
Cam’ron: i've got the reality show "in" with Murtz
Cam’ron: anyone know when Joe Schmo 3 starts filming?
Joe Movies: clearly without any connections I do not
Cam’ron: my, my, my...might i say that green doesn't look good on you
Joe Movies: i notice your columns will be frustratingly single-spaced
Joe Movies: I'd draft the Coach but I worry that he and Huckaby wouldn't play nice on the staff forums
Cam'ron: I think I'll take...Ashish
Joe Movies: !!
Joe Movies: where will I get my free shit??
Cam’ron: correction: *my* free shit...
Cam’ron: besides, i needed to fill the role of "random update boy"
Joe Movies: yeah, Melchor's got that covered over here
Cam’ron: but does HE have subscriptions to every rasslin' dirt sheet, which then find there way (a little bit at a time) on to the site?
Cam’ron: "Edge in Hot Water Backstage"
Joe Movies: umm . . . I'll have to ask him?
Joe Movies: i see you're trying to goad me into drafting Widro
Cam’ron: and w/o ash, there's no one to post big boobied pictures that accompany all your great columns over there...
Cam’ron: "Hottest Women I Saw on the Bus Last Week"
Joe Movies: it's why i've taken to discussing only flat-chested women
Joe Movies: Nothing but Gwyneth Paltrow and the butch one from Baywatch for me
Cam’ron: two more picks for Joe
Joe Movies: damn, i'm very music heavy
Joe Movies: which means MSNBC misses the cut (and just barely, too!)
Cam’ron: you've got angst covered, i'll give you that
Joe Movies: 411 is the new Alice in Chains
Cam’ron: music = sea of melchor "retirement" columns
Cam’ron: he writes like one of those every week
Joe Movies: says the guy who's been teasing "maybe only a few more months" since he began the gig
Cam’ron: yeah, yeah...but only ONCE, publicly
Joe Movies: I'm gonna make the solid late round pick of Cris Murphy who helped my ass out with the Oscars feature this year
Joe Movies: he's fallen into the titty pictures trap as of late but I think I can wean him off of that and onto some oblique Duke Phillips references
Cam’ron: hmm...it seems that you've somehow got 10, while I have 8...
Joe Movies: where'd we go wrong?
Cam’ron: whoops, hold on
Joe Movies: you counting Mathan for you as well?
Cam’ron: forgot Mathan
Cam’ron: don't tell him
Cam’ron: #10: John Haley...
Cam’ron: we're all about the little things
Cam’ron: plus, he's a longtime friend o' the bootleg...
Cam’ron: that's worth being picked (last)
Joe Movies: some friend you are
Joe Movies: so shall we peruse the undrafted free agents?
Joe Movies: okay, first off, who does Daniels have to blow to get some love over here?
Cam’ron: oh, he's a sleeper...no doubt
Joe Movies: also, I'm surprised I allowed Road Rules Katie to escape undrafted
Cam’ron: hey, hey...you'd have to go thru Murtz for interview opportunities, mister
Joe Movies: i'll have to move quickly if I want to keep the Beauty and the Geek cast from falling into your evil clutches
Cam’ron: personally, i hope you plan to pair evo and gloomy on the same day...call it "suicidal tendencies" or "just kill yourselves already!"
Joe Movies: "Just Press Down and End It Already" Thursdays
Cam’ron: yet, no room for Larry Csonka?
Joe Movies: you know how I feel about the Miami Dolphins
Joe Movies: not enough MSG err, MSD in your diet?
Joe Movies: don't tell me he's still mad at you and your governor?
Cam’ron: eh...i'd just have him fetch my cocoa
Joe Movies: most importantly, dude, we left Coogan and Biscuits undrafted to start their own USFL-like competetive site
Joe Movies: "They Hate We"
Cam’ron: and We Hate They
Joe Movies: i'm not trying to be an asshole here, Cam
Cam’ron: believe me, joe, you don't have to "try"
Joe Movies: as the numerous flaming bags of poop that'll be left on my doorstep after this posts will attest
Cam’ron: fear not...editing is your friend
Cam’ron: and my laborious enemy
Joe Movies: good luck with this one, dude
Joe Movies: i just hope we don't see any of these names editied out and replaced with "Mr. Black"
Cam’ron: Just ours
Joe Movies: posted by Michael Matthew and Some Guy
Cam’ron: "Joe Reid"
Joe Movies: blast
Cam’ron: who wishes to remain anonymous
Joe Movies: so good luck finding a new writing gig, brother
Cam’ron: i've had a good run...
Cam’ron: maybe 411 will have me back
Joe Movies: any defectors have to go through Rutherford and Evocator
Joe Movies: also the "supplicant" doggy door